Obama's stimulus package, H.R.1

So, Obama signed his stimulus package bill today in Colorado. H.R.1, aka, Barak Obama's economic stimulus bill, in my opinion is the greatest con ever pulled off in the history of civilization as we know it .

News reports would have us believe that if this bill wasn't passed it would be doom and gloom the world over for years. Obama preached that we needed this bill to create jobs, get money into the hands of banks so they could loan it out, save GM, Chrysler, Ford, Citibank and on and on. And then he tells us it will be 18 months before we see any benefit to the economy from his plan.

I still think that President Bush should have never pushed the first bail out. They should have let the dumb shits burn in the fire they started.

Even without the stimulus plan in 18 months the economy most likely would have started to turn around on it's own anyway.

If they really wanted to spend an ass load of money they could have just sent all of us a check, no strings attached and let us do it by paying bills, paying down debt, buying consumer goods and investing.

One good thing about the state of the economy, people are now saving more, and more importantly, spending more time at home with family and friends and seeing the importance of good old fashioned values.

You know, stuff like spending the afternoon with your family and neighbors, bbq some hot dogs, drink some beers and play redneck horseshoes.

Fema & Hurricane Ike

The following was posted by a friend of mine on forum board where I regularly hang out. It is straight from the horses mouth about the absolute cluster fuck that FEMA and it's disaster relief efforts are.

To thank my buddy for the fodder for this post his link is below, he has all kinds of great military shirts, stickers and other support our troops gear and gifts.

Linkin Mall

My older son called me tonight about his assignment assisting in Beaumont, Texas, after Hurricane Ike. It was different than he expected. He said, "It was a cluster fork – I'd rather spend 14 days on a fire." At forest fires, there is a unified command drawn from the Forest Service, Park Service, Bureau of Indian Affairs, Bureau of Land Management, etc. The commands are already integrated into the dispatch system and the incident command system. My son's crew was sent as part of a larger wildland firefighting contingent. He was told his crew would use their chainsaws to assist in recovery efforts. They'd help local firefighters and power crews with access. However, the Texas state government had to approve what was being done, because the costs would come from their allocated disaster recovery funds. He wound up in the parking lot of a convention center. FEMA rented the parking lot for $12 million. It was fenced. He was told to set up his tents on the pavement, so he circled his five trucks, and his crew spread sleeping bags on the pavement, encircled by their trucks. There was no group briefing. Somebody from FEMA said, "We'll tell you when we're ready for you." In about two days, the Corps of Engineers, FEMA, and the Defense Logistics Agency (a component of the Department of Defense) had set up refrigerated tents with cots and catering. DLA normally handles logistics for wars. My son was then given his task. Basically, he "ran a truck rodeo" – his words. Hundreds of 18-wheelers came into the parking lot loaded with bottled water, MRE's, or ice. My son's crew checked their bills of lading, recorded their truck number and contents, and directed the truck drivers where to park. They segregated them by type of contents. My son received incoming orders from COE, FEMA, or DLA, telling him where they needed what supplies. He assembled convoys of the requisite number of trucks, but he said COE, FEMA, and DLA were not talking to each other and didn't recognize each other's paperwork, so each specified that they wanted only the trucks that they'd sent to his site. COE didn't want its locations receiving DLA trucks and vice versa. He said that he had 1000 trucks parked at any given time. At one point, there was a 30-mile backlog of incoming trucks on the Interstate. He said he saw 9 GS-15 Managers yelling and swearing at each other. He said relief workers ate fried chicken and slept on cots in air-conditioned tents, while truck drivers were told to eat MRE's and bottled water and stay in the cabs of their trucks. The temperature was 110. He said he expected a revolt of 1000 truck drivers – something on the nature of a C. W. McCall song – but there were armed National Guardsmen ringing the tents. My son told me that when his tour ended, the trucks full of ice were driven to an airport. They dumped the ice on a runway and let it melt, rather than incur the continued expense of delivering it to people who could use it. Last night, his crew drove toward home in Colorado. My two daughters joined his crew at a Houston restaurant for a meal, but he couldn't get enough motel rooms for his crew, so they drove to Dallas before bedding down for the night. He said, "If you divide $12 million dollars by the number of nights we were there and the number of cots that were filled, it cost $2000 per cot per day to feed and house the rescue workers." He also said his crew was awarded a Certificate of Merit from FEMA. In answer to my last question, he said, "No, we didn't hand out any duct tape." Kayecee must still have all the duct tape. I heard she buys rolls of duct tape by the thousands "so the hoarders don't get it."

Redneck Horse shoes rules

www.cafepress.com/missingnebraska/1162282

I see a few folks have been looking for the rules to Redneck, hillbilly, Polish horseshoes, so straight from the horses mouth from the makers of the game, Original washers, I bring you the rules.

There is a link in the sidebar where you can buy your very own Texas, Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horseshoes game.

Official Rules for Texas Horseshoes
(also known as Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes)

Game Setup

1. The two washer boards should be placed on a flat surface 10 feet apart from the front of the board. The included distance rope is exactly 10 feet long for easy distance measuring.
2. The preferred surface to play on is short grass or carpet.
3. During one-on-one competition, the first player will toss at a selected board while the second person follows from the same spot. After tallying scores, players will then pick up the washers thrown and throw to the other board. During two-on-two competitions, teammates will stay at the opposite board.

Player Positioning

1. Washers is a team game, each team will have a player situated at opposing washer game board unless the game is one-on-one, in which please see Section 3 under “Setup.”
2. Each player must throw their respective washers with both feet on the washer board. The foul line is the front of the board.

Scoring

1. The closest hole is worth one (1) point, the middle hole is worth three (3) points, and the furthest hole is worth five (5) points. Washers must drop into the hole completely to score. A thrown washer from either player can knock washers on the board in a hole. It is important to remember whose washers are on the board in case of a knock-in throw. The owner of the knocked-in washer receives the applicable score for the hole into which it was knocked.
2. Each player has a turn to throw three washers in each round. During one-on-one games, players will tally the score from that round and proceed to throw back at the other board. During two-on-two games, after a round is thrown and score is tallied, washers are then picked up and thrown by the other set of opponents.

Canceling Points

1. After a player has thrown three washers for their turn, the other player has the opportunity to cancel out the opponent's score.
2. For example, if Player A throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point, the middle hole for 3 points, and then misses the third shot, the score would be 4 points for Player A. However, the opposition, Player B, has a chance to cancel points from Player A's total during this round. If Player B throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point and the last hole for 5 points, and then misses the third shot, the score of the first round would be 5 to 3 in favor of Player B because the washers that landed in the first hole for one point cancelled each other out.
3. The cancel rule is counted only for turns in the same round. Both players must throw all their washers for a complete round.

Player Turns

1. The player or team to score last (no matter if the throw is cancelled or not) throws first in the next round.
2. A round consists of a player making three washer throws in a row as one turn, and then an opposing player making three washer throws in a row as the second turn. Thus, a round consists of two turns.

Skunk Rule

1. The skunk rule is in effect unless otherwise agreed upon by both teams before a game begins.
2. If a team outscores another team 11+to 0, then the team with zero is SKUNKED (they lose). The team that outscores the other team 11+ to 0, wins the game.

Winning

1. The first player or team to reach exactly twenty-one (21) points wins the game.
2. NOTE -- the round has to be complete and a player or team must reach exactly 21 points to win the game. Breaking the 21-point level creates a penalty situation (see section “Breaking 21 – Penalty”).

Breaking 21 - Penalty

1. Exceeding the winning point total of 21 results in a reduction of your starting score by the total number of points you made to break 21.
2. For example, if Player A has 18 points and throws a washer in the last hole for 5 points, then misses two shots, they or their team will go back to 13 points because the total number of points thrown during that turn exceeded 21 points and the points scored (5) is subtracted from the starting score (18) for that round.
3. During each round, if opponents make a washer in the same hole, it's just as if that washer was never thrown for both players. Scores are tallied at the end of each player's turn, and then adjusted for cancels at the end of the opponents turn. For example, if both players threw a five in the previous example, the score for Player A or his team would remain at 18 points.

These rules can be adjusted with any variation that you wish, but must be agreed on before a game begins

ATF

Since this blog is called Redneck Revue, how about this latest great redneck t-shirt. Makes fun of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and rednecks. It's a great funny redneck t-shirt, that really personifies the redneck. I can see it in my mind, a bunch of rednecks out shooting trap, a cooler full of beer sitting on the tail gate of the truck and of course everyone has a cigarette hanging out of their mouth, all the while blasting the shit out of clay pigeons. So, if you need a unique and funny t-shirt as a gift for your favorite redneck, my funny redneck t-shirts and other gifts will bring tons of humor and laughter to all your favorite rednecks. ATF funny redneck shirts.

Tobacco and tax dollars

Rednecks and chew go together like hot dogs and buns. I am so sick of the government telling me I shouldn't smoke or chew! Assholes!

I know it's not good for you, but shit, it's not like I'm blowing up buildings or doing drive by shootings!

And for all you government geeks out there, if all of us chewers and smokers give up the bad nicotine tobacco habits, you'd lose all your cushy tax revenue.

Then what the hell ya gonna do? By the by, if you Google tobacco tax revenue you'll discover that all the money that was won in all those lawsuits that was supposed to help all of quit this nasty habit, is not being spent for that.

It's supporting all kinds of medical programs, the government crooks claim most of it is for kids, but I'd bet most of it is probably being spent on illegal immigrants and welfare moms who keep shelling out kids via immaculate conception.

Besides that what about all the other stuff the tobacco taxes fund. Like Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Ne. It was built with a lot of cigarette tax money, but can you smoke in there? NOOOOOOOO!

So, to my government, I'll quit smoking/chewing when you can quit spending the tax dollars generated by my bad habit.

Redneck Special Forces

Redneck Special Forces

United States Redneck Special Forces
(USRSP)

The USRSP have been given these 5 facts about Iraqi Terrorists.

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, country music, jesus or chicken.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of your
favorite race car driver.

This shit will be over in a week!

Redneck Hooker

Redneck Hooker

Funny how a word that means one thing to some folks can have a whole different meaning in a different part of the country. The redneck hooker is just that. To a redneck, a hooker is his favorite fishing lure.

Redneck horse shoes the Nebraska way

Out here in Nebraska, we pitch horse shoes the redneck way! With toilet seats! Actually we did this at a family reunion, it was great fun. All the regular horse shoe pitching rules applied, we just used toilet seats instead of horse shoes.

Get this hilarious Redneck horseshoes shirt here.

A Redneck's famous las words

A Redneck's famous last words........
Hold my beer and watch this. With summer here and all the good ole redneck boys spending more time outside playing redneck games and drinking beer, this is the perfect t-shirt for their wives or girlfriends.

Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes rules

I see a few folks have been looking for the rules to Redneck, hillbilly, Polish horseshoes, so straight from the horses mouth from the makers of the game, Original washers, I bring you the rules.

There is a link in the sidebar where you can buy your very own Texas, Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horseshoes game.

Official Rules for Texas Horseshoes
(also known as Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes)

Game Setup

1. The two washer boards should be placed on a flat surface 10 feet apart from the front of the board. The included distance rope is exactly 10 feet long for easy distance measuring.
2. The preferred surface to play on is short grass or carpet.
3. During one-on-one competition, the first player will toss at a selected board while the second person follows from the same spot. After tallying scores, players will then pick up the washers thrown and throw to the other board. During two-on-two competitions, teammates will stay at the opposite board.

Player Positioning

1. Washers is a team game, each team will have a player situated at opposing washer game board unless the game is one-on-one, in which please see Section 3 under “Setup.”
2. Each player must throw their respective washers with both feet on the washer board. The foul line is the front of the board.

Scoring

1. The closest hole is worth one (1) point, the middle hole is worth three (3) points, and the furthest hole is worth five (5) points. Washers must drop into the hole completely to score. A thrown washer from either player can knock washers on the board in a hole. It is important to remember whose washers are on the board in case of a knock-in throw. The owner of the knocked-in washer receives the applicable score for the hole into which it was knocked.
2. Each player has a turn to throw three washers in each round. During one-on-one games, players will tally the score from that round and proceed to throw back at the other board. During two-on-two games, after a round is thrown and score is tallied, washers are then picked up and thrown by the other set of opponents.

Canceling Points

1. After a player has thrown three washers for their turn, the other player has the opportunity to cancel out the opponent's score.
2. For example, if Player A throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point, the middle hole for 3 points, and then misses the third shot, the score would be 4 points for Player A. However, the opposition, Player B, has a chance to cancel points from Player A's total during this round. If Player B throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point and the last hole for 5 points, and then misses the third shot, the score of the first round would be 5 to 3 in favor of Player B because the washers that landed in the first hole for one point cancelled each other out.
3. The cancel rule is counted only for turns in the same round. Both players must throw all their washers for a complete round.

Player Turns

1. The player or team to score last (no matter if the throw is cancelled or not) throws first in the next round.
2. A round consists of a player making three washer throws in a row as one turn, and then an opposing player making three washer throws in a row as the second turn. Thus, a round consists of two turns.

Skunk Rule

1. The skunk rule is in effect unless otherwise agreed upon by both teams before a game begins.
2. If a team outscores another team 11+to 0, then the team with zero is SKUNKED (they lose). The team that outscores the other team 11+ to 0, wins the game.

Winning

1. The first player or team to reach exactly twenty-one (21) points wins the game.
2. NOTE -- the round has to be complete and a player or team must reach exactly 21 points to win the game. Breaking the 21-point level creates a penalty situation (see section “Breaking 21 – Penalty”).

Breaking 21 - Penalty

1. Exceeding the winning point total of 21 results in a reduction of your starting score by the total number of points you made to break 21.
2. For example, if Player A has 18 points and throws a washer in the last hole for 5 points, then misses two shots, they or their team will go back to 13 points because the total number of points thrown during that turn exceeded 21 points and the points scored (5) is subtracted from the starting score (18) for that round.
3. During each round, if opponents make a washer in the same hole, it's just as if that washer was never thrown for both players. Scores are tallied at the end of each player's turn, and then adjusted for cancels at the end of the opponents turn. For example, if both players threw a five in the previous example, the score for Player A or his team would remain at 18 points.

These rules can be adjusted with any variation that you wish, but must be agreed on before a game begins

Redneck vacation

Alien abduction, the ultimate redneck vacation! How come is it that the little green men never pick up the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders or maybe Al Gore! They pick on poor ole drunked up BuBa!

Maybe the aliens know that no one will ever believe BuBa.

Anyway, you can get this great Redneck vacation t-shirt for yourself.

Redneck, hillbilly, polish horseshoes rules

I see a few folks have been looking for the rules to Redneck, hillbilly, Polish horseshoes, so straight from the horses mouth from the makers of the game, Originalwashers.com I bring you the rules.

Official Rules for Texas Horseshoes
(also known as Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes)
From OriginalWashers.com

Game Setup

1. The two washer boards should be placed on a flat surface 10 feet apart from the front of the board. The included distance rope is exactly 10 feet long for easy distance measuring.
2. The preferred surface to play on is short grass or carpet.
3. During one-on-one competition, the first player will toss at a selected board while the second person follows from the same spot. After tallying scores, players will then pick up the washers thrown and throw to the other board. During two-on-two competitions, teammates will stay at the opposite board.

Player Positioning

1. Washers is a team game, each team will have a player situated at opposing washer game board unless the game is one-on-one, in which please see Section 3 under “Setup.”
2. Each player must throw their respective washers with both feet on the washer board. The foul line is the front of the board.

Scoring

1. The closest hole is worth one (1) point, the middle hole is worth three (3) points, and the furthest hole is worth five (5) points. Washers must drop into the hole completely to score. A thrown washer from either player can knock washers on the board in a hole. It is important to remember whose washers are on the board in case of a knock-in throw. The owner of the knocked-in washer receives the applicable score for the hole into which it was knocked.
2. Each player has a turn to throw three washers in each round. During one-on-one games, players will tally the score from that round and proceed to throw back at the other board. During two-on-two games, after a round is thrown and score is tallied, washers are then picked up and thrown by the other set of opponents.

Canceling Points

1. After a player has thrown three washers for their turn, the other player has the opportunity to cancel out the opponent's score.
2. For example, if Player A throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point, the middle hole for 3 points, and then misses the third shot, the score would be 4 points for Player A. However, the opposition, Player B, has a chance to cancel points from Player A's total during this round. If Player B throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point and the last hole for 5 points, and then misses the third shot, the score of the first round would be 5 to 3 in favor of Player B because the washers that landed in the first hole for one point cancelled each other out.
3. The cancel rule is counted only for turns in the same round. Both players must throw all their washers for a complete round.

Player Turns

1. The player or team to score last (no matter if the throw is cancelled or not) throws first in the next round.
2. A round consists of a player making three washer throws in a row as one turn, and then an opposing player making three washer throws in a row as the second turn. Thus, a round consists of two turns.

Skunk Rule

1. The skunk rule is in effect unless otherwise agreed upon by both teams before a game begins.
2. If a team outscores another team 11+to 0, then the team with zero is SKUNKED (they lose). The team that outscores the other team 11+ to 0, wins the game.

Winning

1. The first player or team to reach exactly twenty-one (21) points wins the game.
2. NOTE -- the round has to be complete and a player or team must reach exactly 21 points to win the game. Breaking the 21-point level creates a penalty situation (see section “Breaking 21 – Penalty”).

Breaking 21 - Penalty

1. Exceeding the winning point total of 21 results in a reduction of your starting score by the total number of points you made to break 21.
2. For example, if Player A has 18 points and throws a washer in the last hole for 5 points, then misses two shots, they or their team will go back to 13 points because the total number of points thrown during that turn exceeded 21 points and the points scored (5) is subtracted from the starting score (18) for that round.
3. During each round, if opponents make a washer in the same hole, it's just as if that washer was never thrown for both players. Scores are tallied at the end of each player's turn, and then adjusted for cancels at the end of the opponents turn. For example, if both players threw a five in the previous example, the score for Player A or his team would remain at 18 points.

These rules can be adjusted with any variation that you wish, but must be agreed on before a game begins