Pitching shoes

At this particular point in time, the only thing I'm not fed up with is throwing shoes with my team mates on Wednesday nights.

Obama can kiss mine, the boss can kiss mine, the hubby can kiss mine, my mother, my inlaws, they can all kiss mine.

The hubby got me into pitching shoes this summer. I actually enjoy it. My Grandpa was pretty good at it.

A few weeks ago we had to fix gramma's plumbing and she still had Grandpa's old pitching shoes and she gave them to us. These shoes are over 50 years old and they are great.

I had not thrown a shoe since I was a kid, but wonder of wonders, I ended up doing pretty good after a few weeks.

As it turns out, I was only a sub, but ended up doing better than some regular team members.

Who knew?

Obama's stimulus package, H.R.1

So, Obama signed his stimulus package bill today in Colorado. H.R.1, aka, Barak Obama's economic stimulus bill, in my opinion is the greatest con ever pulled off in the history of civilization as we know it .

News reports would have us believe that if this bill wasn't passed it would be doom and gloom the world over for years. Obama preached that we needed this bill to create jobs, get money into the hands of banks so they could loan it out, save GM, Chrysler, Ford, Citibank and on and on. And then he tells us it will be 18 months before we see any benefit to the economy from his plan.

I still think that President Bush should have never pushed the first bail out. They should have let the dumb shits burn in the fire they started.

Even without the stimulus plan in 18 months the economy most likely would have started to turn around on it's own anyway.

If they really wanted to spend an ass load of money they could have just sent all of us a check, no strings attached and let us do it by paying bills, paying down debt, buying consumer goods and investing.

One good thing about the state of the economy, people are now saving more, and more importantly, spending more time at home with family and friends and seeing the importance of good old fashioned values.

You know, stuff like spending the afternoon with your family and neighbors, bbq some hot dogs, drink some beers and play redneck horseshoes.

Morons

So, earlier today, I was reading an advice column referencing helpful house/yard/garage cleaning hint.

One lady wrote in, "my kids colored on the garage floor with permanent marker, how do I clean it up?"

Duh, don't clean it up, PARK THE CAR OVER IT! It's the fucking garage floor, who gives a shit if the kids colored on it?

Another lady wondered how to get the little furballs out of the velcro on her precious little doggies coat.

Duh, get a dog with some damn fur so it doesn't need a coat, or move to a warmer climate.

The ones that really get me are the ladies who write in about their wonderful boyfriend, all except for one thing, the SOB is married, it's been 2 years and he's still has not left his wife.

Hello DUMB ASS! He's not going to leave his wife for you, you're giving him what he wants anyway. Besides, why in the hell would you want him? He's a CHEATER! He's cheating on his wife with you, and cheating on you with his wife. Besides, IF you ever get to be his wife, won't you always wonder if he's cheating on you with someone else? Kick the guy in the nuts and get a life, or a dog, or a cat or a goldfish. Less money, hassle, stress and they are always glad to see you no matter what.

The dog that ate the marijuana

Ok, some of you frequent here to see what's up at Redneck Revue, some of of you stumble across this blog, looking for redneck horseshoes.

I appreciate my regular readers and welcome any new ones. Now, I have a story for all of you!

If you don't know, I work for a veterinarian, most days, it's vaccinations, vomiting, declaws, spays, etc. pretty mundane stuff.

But, once in a while something that just blows your mind will walk in the door. It happened today.

Wednesday, is our Dr.s day off. So me and the vet tech use Wednesdays to catch up on filing, cleaning, inventory, etc.

We had a quiet day, until about 4pm. A lady from a nearby town walks in with a sick puppy. It's about 4 months old, very thin, rigid, and not very responsive.

Just a bit of background here. Bear with me while I set this up.

This lady is from a town 40 miles away and suddenly showed up a few weeks ago with one sick puppy, we fixed it up.

Then she shows up with 4 sick boxer puppies, thin, dirty, loaded with worms.

I have to give the lady credit, her heart is in the right place, but, her brain isn't.

Given we are a small, rural community, I ask around a bit, because things are just not right with this whole deal. Come to find out, her father was arrested a few years ago on animal cruelty charges. The man had sheep in his basement, cows that starved to death and numerous dogs and cats in the house that were seized, sick and most had to be euthanised. This was not discovered until he went to the hospital and the EMT's that picked him up turned him in.

Anyway, this lady is his daughter.

So she shows up this afternoon with another sick puppy. She had given this puppy to a man she had rented her fathers house to. The puppy had eaten part of a house plant and the renters stash of marijuana! The renter called the "lady" and said he was going to take the puppy and have it put down because it kept eating his "stuff". She went and got it and brought it to us.

I have seen a lot of things in my career at the veterinary hospital, but this takes the cake. I called the cops.

The "lady" is not at fault, just not all there.
Anyway for those of you who don't know, I have a son who is a state trooper, so I just called the local office, the seargent answered the phone, I told him what was up and he was over in a few minutes.

He questioned the "lady". She is not at fault in this mess, just ignorant and not very bright.

So, to make a long story short, we gave the puppy some medicine and all prayed it lives through the night. We will have to save pooty samples, or do a necropsy on the puppy for evidence for a animal cruelty case.

The state patrol, notified the city of Kimball, Ne. The local PD is going to go investigate. The state patrol is hoping we can prove the marjiauna was eaten by the puppy. If it can be proved the cruelty to animals charges will carry a bigger fine, sentence, etc. than the posession of marijuana charges. Not to mention the guy who had the puppy has a rap sheet a frickin mile long!

Then, we're going to have to find a place for the puppy if it lives, until this is all over.

I've already decided, if it lives, *crosses fingers* I'll keep it until this mess is sorted out and we can find it a good home.

God bless the rednecks, animal lovers and our local fuzz!

Bite Me!

Joe Biden, You and Barack are nothing more than over educated and over paid career politicians and you can

BITE ME!

You do not have one fucking clue about the middle class and the touted $42,000/year salary.

Take out our health insurance, federal tax, state tax, 401k, medicare, medicade, social security, (which I will probably never get anything out of, thanks to a ton of yahoos who ahve figured out how to be disables, without being disabled) and whatever the hell else you think you need, and then you live on that!

And that doesn't even touch, local property tax, personal property tax, vehicle tax, tobacco tax, gas tax, local sales tax, alcohol tax, IFTA, (interstate fuel agreement tax, affects truckers who buy diesel fuel in multiple states), the personal property tax,( taxes the tractors and other farm equipment my family owns, that it uses to earn a living farming.)

Every single one of you assholes in Washington needs to get a fucking clue. You are taxing your middle class to death.

My husband and I NET about $30,000 a year after all our taxes, and we are having a hard time making it. We actually gross the $42k a year, but after we pay all our taxes, we are screwed.

$30k a year is $2500/mo. House payment, $726, then we have phone, car and property insurance, satellite tv, heat, electricity, gas, groceries and we're paying our farming expenses out of pocket, we have to meet our insurance deductible, tires, oil changes, and the list goes on, Joe 6 pack can barely afford the 6 pack anymore.

And I forgot to mention, Obama is not a gun, NRA friendly guy, so when the coyotes attack my dogs and chew the shit out of them in my front yard, what the hell am I supposed to do about that? If he takes my guns, is he gonna pay my vet bill?

Joe 6 pack

I know that I have friends that visit this blog on a regular basis and folks who find me when looking for redneck horseshoes. I love all of you! I blog about whatever makes me happy, mad, or whatever. And I use this as a ranting board, but hold onto your asses rednecks, because I am on a roll and I am major pissed off tonight.

I've been watching the vice presidential debate between Biden and Palin. I have never been so pissed off at every single politician as I am right now.

Governor Palin made a reference to Joe 6 pack and Hockey Moms. I am Jane 6 pack and the American Hockey mom, and married to Joe 6 pack. With the exception that I am a football Mom!

I was expecting to see a debate between Biden and Palin, mostly I see a bunch of crap back and forth, Obama did this, McCain did that, Obama didn't do this, McCain didn't do that, blah, blah, blah!

It's turned into a sandbox, he touched me, she touched me first big bunch of bullshit.

Then they talk about the average American middle class family who makes $42,000/year and how all of the economic, wall street, fanny, freddie crap is goint to affect all of us. God bless Sarah Palin, she is the only one who even has a clue. I dare everyone else in big government to live on those wages. They could not do it!

They blather about sending your kids to college, paying your morgtage, blah, blah, yada, yada!

My husband and I put 2 kids through college from 1998 to 2002. Yes it took that long, 4 1/2 years for a Bachelors degree for both and then, for one 6 months at State Patrol camp and another 2 years for the other in Radiology school. We couldn't afford all that, They had student loans, pell grants and JOBS! We helped out as much as we could, but our kids still graduated with debt. BUT, we did it!

And the whole support the troops stuff!? I have a friend in the military, Barack Obama is the reason that it took way to long to get Kevlar, reinforced Humvees, and a bunch of other simple stuff that would have saved the lives of a lot of American soldiers, BECAUSE HE DID NOT AGREE WITH BEING IN IRAQ! This came straight from the horses mouth of a soldier who was on the ground in Iraq!

They've talked about health care, foriegn policy, taxes, the war, the economic crisis, fanny, freddy, energy, education, gun control, blah, blah, yada, yada.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth is there is not one single politician in Washington who has fucking clue about how the MIDDLE CLASS really lives, except Sarah Palin.

Every time our elected officials pass another law or bill or what ever, they get US, the voters off on a tangent, and they keep us on it so we don't notice all the PORK that they attach to it.

They don't pass one single anything that is not filled with one great big old waste of our tax dollars.

I am very dissapointed in every aspect of our government. Our government from my local county commissioners, (which I ran for, but lost, by only 40 votes) to our local city council, to my state reps, to the folks who represent me in DC.

They are all on a power trip and held hostage by special interest groups.

And Biden and his reference to Scranton! A lot of us would say where the hell is Sranton? Well folks to the best of my knowledge it's in Pennsylvania. And I'm from Nebraska! I know my US geography. Whoopee for me. Oh and, don't get me wrong, my sympathies to his family's loss. But where were any of them whem my father was killed in an accident when I was 17 and I had 2 little sisters that my Mom had to raise? And not on any amount of money that he makes?!

Anyway, this particular rant is over for now, I need to go to bed, cuz Joe and Jane 6 pack have to get up in the morning and go to work and make our measily $42,000/year salary. Mind you that is before taxes, social security, medicare, medicade, health insurance and 401k deductions. We take home about 72% of that $42,000.

On a final n ote, I am so glad that our consitution was written by genisues so that it could be run by idiots and ultimatley controlled by the will of the voters.

Fema & Hurricane Ike

The following was posted by a friend of mine on forum board where I regularly hang out. It is straight from the horses mouth about the absolute cluster fuck that FEMA and it's disaster relief efforts are.

To thank my buddy for the fodder for this post his link is below, he has all kinds of great military shirts, stickers and other support our troops gear and gifts.

Linkin Mall

My older son called me tonight about his assignment assisting in Beaumont, Texas, after Hurricane Ike. It was different than he expected. He said, "It was a cluster fork – I'd rather spend 14 days on a fire." At forest fires, there is a unified command drawn from the Forest Service, Park Service, Bureau of Indian Affairs, Bureau of Land Management, etc. The commands are already integrated into the dispatch system and the incident command system. My son's crew was sent as part of a larger wildland firefighting contingent. He was told his crew would use their chainsaws to assist in recovery efforts. They'd help local firefighters and power crews with access. However, the Texas state government had to approve what was being done, because the costs would come from their allocated disaster recovery funds. He wound up in the parking lot of a convention center. FEMA rented the parking lot for $12 million. It was fenced. He was told to set up his tents on the pavement, so he circled his five trucks, and his crew spread sleeping bags on the pavement, encircled by their trucks. There was no group briefing. Somebody from FEMA said, "We'll tell you when we're ready for you." In about two days, the Corps of Engineers, FEMA, and the Defense Logistics Agency (a component of the Department of Defense) had set up refrigerated tents with cots and catering. DLA normally handles logistics for wars. My son was then given his task. Basically, he "ran a truck rodeo" – his words. Hundreds of 18-wheelers came into the parking lot loaded with bottled water, MRE's, or ice. My son's crew checked their bills of lading, recorded their truck number and contents, and directed the truck drivers where to park. They segregated them by type of contents. My son received incoming orders from COE, FEMA, or DLA, telling him where they needed what supplies. He assembled convoys of the requisite number of trucks, but he said COE, FEMA, and DLA were not talking to each other and didn't recognize each other's paperwork, so each specified that they wanted only the trucks that they'd sent to his site. COE didn't want its locations receiving DLA trucks and vice versa. He said that he had 1000 trucks parked at any given time. At one point, there was a 30-mile backlog of incoming trucks on the Interstate. He said he saw 9 GS-15 Managers yelling and swearing at each other. He said relief workers ate fried chicken and slept on cots in air-conditioned tents, while truck drivers were told to eat MRE's and bottled water and stay in the cabs of their trucks. The temperature was 110. He said he expected a revolt of 1000 truck drivers – something on the nature of a C. W. McCall song – but there were armed National Guardsmen ringing the tents. My son told me that when his tour ended, the trucks full of ice were driven to an airport. They dumped the ice on a runway and let it melt, rather than incur the continued expense of delivering it to people who could use it. Last night, his crew drove toward home in Colorado. My two daughters joined his crew at a Houston restaurant for a meal, but he couldn't get enough motel rooms for his crew, so they drove to Dallas before bedding down for the night. He said, "If you divide $12 million dollars by the number of nights we were there and the number of cots that were filled, it cost $2000 per cot per day to feed and house the rescue workers." He also said his crew was awarded a Certificate of Merit from FEMA. In answer to my last question, he said, "No, we didn't hand out any duct tape." Kayecee must still have all the duct tape. I heard she buys rolls of duct tape by the thousands "so the hoarders don't get it."

Tuesday night

It's Tuesday night.

The hubby has gone to town to play league pool and I am at home with a 6 pack, the remote and the internet. Woo Hoo.

I'll start with shit that pisses me off. The USPS. I am expecting 2 checks, that total a bit over $3000 in the mail and all of a sudden, I'm not getting any mail. Haven't had a scrap of mail for 5 days! No bills, no junk mail, no nothing! WTF!

The people who I'm expecting the checks from have mailed them. I checked. The USPS is full of shit. Used to deal with them when I worked at the local paper. The USPS is one of the few businesses/govt agencies that you will deal with where you pay up front for services you don't always get.

In the newspaper business, the paper pays all postage on mailed paper subscription before the paper gets mailed. However the paper and magazines all go 3rd class. This means 1st class, priority, air mail and whatever else goes first. So 3rd class gets sorted and sent last. Guess what!? If PO is to busy or short handed they don't effing bother.

Somewhere? There is a warehouse full of newspapers, magazines, packages, etc. that have had th postage paid and never been delivered. I wonder what the USPS does with that stuff? Do they have a big ole secret summer wienie roast and use that stuff for the fire? In the 4 years I worked at the paper there were 4 people in CO with a sub that only got 2 to 3 papers a week out of 5. That is a lot of paper, especially if you multiply it by, oh, say 100 who never got stuff from where ever. Then think about the whole country! OMG! The USPS can furnish the fire, the rest of us could all bring a pkg of hot dogs, a 6 pack and a sack of chips and we could have a Redneck bbq that would put Woodstock, Sturgis and the democratic and republican convention to shame.

In case you haven't figured it out, I am pissed at the postal service! For a change, I am expecting money in the mail, do you think it has showed up? NO! If it was a bill it would get to my box before it was mailed!

On a good note, I havn't got any junk mail either. I wish I could figure out how to quit getting that crap. What a waste of trees.

On another note. My blog is popular and I got spanked the other day by my oldest sons employer! He is a state patrolman and a member of SWAT. I can't say which state cuz that's what got me in trouble. Seems they have google alerts, and when I mentioned a certain thing, they got pinged and I got my little typing fingers spanked. Not bad, it was really kind of funny in the end.

It was one of those things that was good and bad at the same time. Hope the powers that be come back and visit now and then.

Well, folks, I better check out and let the dogs in and head to bed.

Gotta spend an evening cleaning and get my stuff ready to go to Lincoln on Sat for the Husker Virginia Tech game! Woo Hoo!

Redneck Horse shoes rules

www.cafepress.com/missingnebraska/1162282

I see a few folks have been looking for the rules to Redneck, hillbilly, Polish horseshoes, so straight from the horses mouth from the makers of the game, Original washers, I bring you the rules.

There is a link in the sidebar where you can buy your very own Texas, Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horseshoes game.

Official Rules for Texas Horseshoes
(also known as Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes)

Game Setup

1. The two washer boards should be placed on a flat surface 10 feet apart from the front of the board. The included distance rope is exactly 10 feet long for easy distance measuring.
2. The preferred surface to play on is short grass or carpet.
3. During one-on-one competition, the first player will toss at a selected board while the second person follows from the same spot. After tallying scores, players will then pick up the washers thrown and throw to the other board. During two-on-two competitions, teammates will stay at the opposite board.

Player Positioning

1. Washers is a team game, each team will have a player situated at opposing washer game board unless the game is one-on-one, in which please see Section 3 under “Setup.”
2. Each player must throw their respective washers with both feet on the washer board. The foul line is the front of the board.

Scoring

1. The closest hole is worth one (1) point, the middle hole is worth three (3) points, and the furthest hole is worth five (5) points. Washers must drop into the hole completely to score. A thrown washer from either player can knock washers on the board in a hole. It is important to remember whose washers are on the board in case of a knock-in throw. The owner of the knocked-in washer receives the applicable score for the hole into which it was knocked.
2. Each player has a turn to throw three washers in each round. During one-on-one games, players will tally the score from that round and proceed to throw back at the other board. During two-on-two games, after a round is thrown and score is tallied, washers are then picked up and thrown by the other set of opponents.

Canceling Points

1. After a player has thrown three washers for their turn, the other player has the opportunity to cancel out the opponent's score.
2. For example, if Player A throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point, the middle hole for 3 points, and then misses the third shot, the score would be 4 points for Player A. However, the opposition, Player B, has a chance to cancel points from Player A's total during this round. If Player B throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point and the last hole for 5 points, and then misses the third shot, the score of the first round would be 5 to 3 in favor of Player B because the washers that landed in the first hole for one point cancelled each other out.
3. The cancel rule is counted only for turns in the same round. Both players must throw all their washers for a complete round.

Player Turns

1. The player or team to score last (no matter if the throw is cancelled or not) throws first in the next round.
2. A round consists of a player making three washer throws in a row as one turn, and then an opposing player making three washer throws in a row as the second turn. Thus, a round consists of two turns.

Skunk Rule

1. The skunk rule is in effect unless otherwise agreed upon by both teams before a game begins.
2. If a team outscores another team 11+to 0, then the team with zero is SKUNKED (they lose). The team that outscores the other team 11+ to 0, wins the game.

Winning

1. The first player or team to reach exactly twenty-one (21) points wins the game.
2. NOTE -- the round has to be complete and a player or team must reach exactly 21 points to win the game. Breaking the 21-point level creates a penalty situation (see section “Breaking 21 – Penalty”).

Breaking 21 - Penalty

1. Exceeding the winning point total of 21 results in a reduction of your starting score by the total number of points you made to break 21.
2. For example, if Player A has 18 points and throws a washer in the last hole for 5 points, then misses two shots, they or their team will go back to 13 points because the total number of points thrown during that turn exceeded 21 points and the points scored (5) is subtracted from the starting score (18) for that round.
3. During each round, if opponents make a washer in the same hole, it's just as if that washer was never thrown for both players. Scores are tallied at the end of each player's turn, and then adjusted for cancels at the end of the opponents turn. For example, if both players threw a five in the previous example, the score for Player A or his team would remain at 18 points.

These rules can be adjusted with any variation that you wish, but must be agreed on before a game begins

Intruders

Officials: Dad finds naked boy in daughter's room, hits him with pipe

By PATRICIO G. BALONA
Staff Writer

A Deltona father ended up in jail Thursday after finding his daughter's teenage boyfriend naked in the girl's bedroom and hitting him with a pipe, sheriff's officials said.

Raul Colon, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend -- or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year. So when he heard noises coming from his daughter's room early Thursday and saw a naked stranger standing on the girl's bed, he swung a metal pipe he had taken from the garage, hitting the 15-year-old, according to a Volusia County sheriff's report.

Colon was charged with aggravated battery on a child but was released from jail later Thursday on $10,000 bail, a booking officer said. No one answered the phone at Colon's residence Thursday for comment.

According to the report, Colon heard the noise in his daughter's room when he got up at 4 a.m. to let his dog out, as he does every morning.

Colon told deputies he chased Lucas Contreres through the kitchen, living room and through the front door and out into the street and called 9-1-1.

Colon's daughter later told deputies she had been seeing Contreres for 18 months but did not tell her father about the relationship. Contreres had sneaked in through a bedroom window at 3 a.m. Thursday to have sex with her, the 15-year-old girl told deputies.

Contreres was found at Florida Hospital Fish Memorial in Orange City where he received staples to close cuts on his head. His injuries were not life-threatening, deputies said.

Contreres told deputies a similar account to Colon's. He said Colon came into the room and started swinging at him with the metal pipe. He jumped out of the bed and began running through the home to get away from Colon. Once outside, he jumped on his bike and went home. His sister later took him to the hospital, deputies said.

Although Contreres' father said he wasn't sure whether he wanted to press charges, deputies took Colon to jail anyway.

Ok, there is no fucking way in hell the dad should have gone to jail. He had a male person he did not know in his daughters bedroom.

He's lucky I don't have any girls and that he wasn't in my daughters bedroom, I'd have filled his ass with buckshot.

I do wonder though why the Dad hadn't noticed before???

That is still beside the point. Local law enforcement is whining cuz he smacked a kid only 15.

Hello! For all the dad knew he could have been a crack head or on PCP! Being 15 DOES not exempt you from the law.

And while we're at it, I'll spank the daughter and the Dad too! She should not have had her BF in the house, and why does'nt Dad know? And where the hell is MOM? Drunk, loaded, high? And where the hell is the damn dog? The dog has'nt raised a fit all this time dingle ass is sneaking in? Piss poor dog in my opinion.

On another note, we had a truck stolen some years ago by"minors", as an adult, even though we were the "victims" we could not go to court because if the perp is "under age" court proceedings are closed.

That is the biggest crock of shit! They should make those proceedings public. Kids get away with way to much crap these days.

In fact, I am in favor of public whippings every Friday afternoon on the court house lawn. If you are a minor and you did something dumb, we're going to give you a good old fashioned, behind the outhouse whupping, and then we're going to whup your folks for not keeping track of your stupid ass.

The rest of us will be allowed to sit on the sidewalk in front of Stewies bar in Sidney, NE and drink beer and watch!

If anyone from the NSP is watching, have a good and safe week.

Janelle

#682's Mom

Redneck election musings

Below is an email sent to me by a friend concerning our election and our presidential candidates, John McCain and Barrack Obama.


We, in Ireland, can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.

On one side, you have a pants wearing lawyer, married to a lawyer who can't keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer who goes to the wrong church who is married to yet another lawyer who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run.

Now, on the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate 'Mc' terminology married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship.

What in Lord's name are you lads thinking over there in the colonies??

I thought that was hilarious, now we add a woman VP candidate for John McCain. A woman who hunts, fishes, is a life long memeber of the NRA and don't take shit off nobody.

On a more serious note, I'm royally pissed at US Weekly magazine and the shit they're spewing. Especially the stuff about her last baby. Some dumb ass group thinks she needs to have a DNA test to prove it's her baby. WTF! She was pregnant, she gave birth, of course it's her baby. What dumb blonde came up with that?

The liberal news is slamming her like no other. Talk about a bunch of sexist shit. I thought the left was supposed to be all about equality, and supportive and helpful of the underdog, to help the poor and disadvantaged rise above their stupidity, blah, blah.

The liberal left wingers in my opinion are a bunch of whining sissy bed wetters and bullies.

ATF

Since this blog is called Redneck Revue, how about this latest great redneck t-shirt. Makes fun of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and rednecks. It's a great funny redneck t-shirt, that really personifies the redneck. I can see it in my mind, a bunch of rednecks out shooting trap, a cooler full of beer sitting on the tail gate of the truck and of course everyone has a cigarette hanging out of their mouth, all the while blasting the shit out of clay pigeons. So, if you need a unique and funny t-shirt as a gift for your favorite redneck, my funny redneck t-shirts and other gifts will bring tons of humor and laughter to all your favorite rednecks. ATF funny redneck shirts.

New shirts designs for kids

Well folks I opened a new online t-shirt store with designs just for kids. It's far from done but thought I'd put the first of some of the designs.

I'm starting out with big brother, little brother and big sister, little sister, matching designs. I started putting of shirts for little boys first, using tractors, heavy equipment and stuff that little boys love. I'll be adding those to shirts for little girls too.

I'll do all the basic, gender designs you'd expect of shirts for boys and girls, but will also break away from tradition by adding the tractors, trucks, fishing, hunting and so on to the girls shirts. Girls like to hunt and fish too.

I have an Aunt who is famous in the super stocker tractor pulling world. You can see her here

So tractors, trucks and more power! Well, women love it too!
You can check out the new line of shirts for little boys, little girls, babies, etc at Little Imps

Keep checking back as I will be adding new stuff all the time.

Tobacco and tax dollars

Rednecks and chew go together like hot dogs and buns. I am so sick of the government telling me I shouldn't smoke or chew! Assholes!

I know it's not good for you, but shit, it's not like I'm blowing up buildings or doing drive by shootings!

And for all you government geeks out there, if all of us chewers and smokers give up the bad nicotine tobacco habits, you'd lose all your cushy tax revenue.

Then what the hell ya gonna do? By the by, if you Google tobacco tax revenue you'll discover that all the money that was won in all those lawsuits that was supposed to help all of quit this nasty habit, is not being spent for that.

It's supporting all kinds of medical programs, the government crooks claim most of it is for kids, but I'd bet most of it is probably being spent on illegal immigrants and welfare moms who keep shelling out kids via immaculate conception.

Besides that what about all the other stuff the tobacco taxes fund. Like Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Ne. It was built with a lot of cigarette tax money, but can you smoke in there? NOOOOOOOO!

So, to my government, I'll quit smoking/chewing when you can quit spending the tax dollars generated by my bad habit.

Redneck Special Forces

Redneck Special Forces

United States Redneck Special Forces
(USRSP)

The USRSP have been given these 5 facts about Iraqi Terrorists.

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, country music, jesus or chicken.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of your
favorite race car driver.

This shit will be over in a week!

Redneck Hooker

Redneck Hooker

Funny how a word that means one thing to some folks can have a whole different meaning in a different part of the country. The redneck hooker is just that. To a redneck, a hooker is his favorite fishing lure.

Redneck horse shoes the Nebraska way

Out here in Nebraska, we pitch horse shoes the redneck way! With toilet seats! Actually we did this at a family reunion, it was great fun. All the regular horse shoe pitching rules applied, we just used toilet seats instead of horse shoes.

Get this hilarious Redneck horseshoes shirt here.

A Redneck's famous las words

A Redneck's famous last words........
Hold my beer and watch this. With summer here and all the good ole redneck boys spending more time outside playing redneck games and drinking beer, this is the perfect t-shirt for their wives or girlfriends.

Barbed wire and thong panties

A thong

is kind of like barbed wire, it protects the property with out obstructing the view!

I figured all my Redneck friends would love this t-shirt.

Odd news

INCINNATI - A woman told Cincinnati police that she heard a noise and then felt something cold on her feet. Police said a man crawled under a table at a University of Cincinnati library and used a syringe to spray saltwater onto the woman's shoes.

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Dwight Pannell, 43, of Columbus, was booked on charges of voyeurism, assault and criminal trespass, court records show.

Pannell was silent in court a court appearance on Thursday. His attorney argued that Pannell's alleged actions didn't warrant the charges against him.

The woman told officers that after she heard something coming from under her table and felt the sensation on her feet, she looked down and saw a man on his knee holding a syringe.

The judge set Pannell's bond at $75,000.

My question about all this is why the hell did that woman not haul off and kick that dumb ass in the chops. If I would have looked under the table and seen that, being the good ole redneck I am, I would have kicked that guy square in the teeth. That would probably be a lot more effective in keeping him from doing that again than sending his stupid ass to court.