pics

Far left, son Dale (rad tech), hubby and me in Memorial stadium for huskers spring game. Right, son Art the state trooper fishing.


Dale in Lincoln.
























Me and Ruby and me after a long day at work.

Tobacco and tax dollars

Rednecks and chew go together like hot dogs and buns. I am so sick of the government telling me I shouldn't smoke or chew! Assholes!

I know it's not good for you, but shit, it's not like I'm blowing up buildings or doing drive by shootings!

And for all you government geeks out there, if all of us chewers and smokers give up the bad nicotine tobacco habits, you'd lose all your cushy tax revenue.

Then what the hell ya gonna do? By the by, if you Google tobacco tax revenue you'll discover that all the money that was won in all those lawsuits that was supposed to help all of quit this nasty habit, is not being spent for that.

It's supporting all kinds of medical programs, the government crooks claim most of it is for kids, but I'd bet most of it is probably being spent on illegal immigrants and welfare moms who keep shelling out kids via immaculate conception.

Besides that what about all the other stuff the tobacco taxes fund. Like Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Ne. It was built with a lot of cigarette tax money, but can you smoke in there? NOOOOOOOO!

So, to my government, I'll quit smoking/chewing when you can quit spending the tax dollars generated by my bad habit.

Redneck Special Forces

Redneck Special Forces

United States Redneck Special Forces
(USRSP)

The USRSP have been given these 5 facts about Iraqi Terrorists.

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, country music, jesus or chicken.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of your
favorite race car driver.

This shit will be over in a week!

Redneck Hooker

Redneck Hooker

Funny how a word that means one thing to some folks can have a whole different meaning in a different part of the country. The redneck hooker is just that. To a redneck, a hooker is his favorite fishing lure.

Redneck horse shoes the Nebraska way

Out here in Nebraska, we pitch horse shoes the redneck way! With toilet seats! Actually we did this at a family reunion, it was great fun. All the regular horse shoe pitching rules applied, we just used toilet seats instead of horse shoes.

Get this hilarious Redneck horseshoes shirt here.

A Redneck's famous las words

A Redneck's famous last words........
Hold my beer and watch this. With summer here and all the good ole redneck boys spending more time outside playing redneck games and drinking beer, this is the perfect t-shirt for their wives or girlfriends.

Monkey party

Monkey Party

Isn't this Monkey Party shirt adorable?

I found it surfing around looking for cute shirts for kids. There other monkey shirts and other great cartoon shirts on this web site. Just click on Monkey party to see all the cute shirts.

I thought it was cute because when I was a kid, mom used to call us little monkeys, when we got to screwing around and acting silly.

Barbed wire and thong panties

A thong

is kind of like barbed wire, it protects the property with out obstructing the view!

I figured all my Redneck friends would love this t-shirt.

Odd news

INCINNATI - A woman told Cincinnati police that she heard a noise and then felt something cold on her feet. Police said a man crawled under a table at a University of Cincinnati library and used a syringe to spray saltwater onto the woman's shoes.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dwight Pannell, 43, of Columbus, was booked on charges of voyeurism, assault and criminal trespass, court records show.

Pannell was silent in court a court appearance on Thursday. His attorney argued that Pannell's alleged actions didn't warrant the charges against him.

The woman told officers that after she heard something coming from under her table and felt the sensation on her feet, she looked down and saw a man on his knee holding a syringe.

The judge set Pannell's bond at $75,000.

My question about all this is why the hell did that woman not haul off and kick that dumb ass in the chops. If I would have looked under the table and seen that, being the good ole redneck I am, I would have kicked that guy square in the teeth. That would probably be a lot more effective in keeping him from doing that again than sending his stupid ass to court.

Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes rules

I see a few folks have been looking for the rules to Redneck, hillbilly, Polish horseshoes, so straight from the horses mouth from the makers of the game, Original washers, I bring you the rules.

There is a link in the sidebar where you can buy your very own Texas, Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horseshoes game.

Official Rules for Texas Horseshoes
(also known as Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes)

Game Setup

1. The two washer boards should be placed on a flat surface 10 feet apart from the front of the board. The included distance rope is exactly 10 feet long for easy distance measuring.
2. The preferred surface to play on is short grass or carpet.
3. During one-on-one competition, the first player will toss at a selected board while the second person follows from the same spot. After tallying scores, players will then pick up the washers thrown and throw to the other board. During two-on-two competitions, teammates will stay at the opposite board.

Player Positioning

1. Washers is a team game, each team will have a player situated at opposing washer game board unless the game is one-on-one, in which please see Section 3 under “Setup.”
2. Each player must throw their respective washers with both feet on the washer board. The foul line is the front of the board.

Scoring

1. The closest hole is worth one (1) point, the middle hole is worth three (3) points, and the furthest hole is worth five (5) points. Washers must drop into the hole completely to score. A thrown washer from either player can knock washers on the board in a hole. It is important to remember whose washers are on the board in case of a knock-in throw. The owner of the knocked-in washer receives the applicable score for the hole into which it was knocked.
2. Each player has a turn to throw three washers in each round. During one-on-one games, players will tally the score from that round and proceed to throw back at the other board. During two-on-two games, after a round is thrown and score is tallied, washers are then picked up and thrown by the other set of opponents.

Canceling Points

1. After a player has thrown three washers for their turn, the other player has the opportunity to cancel out the opponent's score.
2. For example, if Player A throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point, the middle hole for 3 points, and then misses the third shot, the score would be 4 points for Player A. However, the opposition, Player B, has a chance to cancel points from Player A's total during this round. If Player B throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point and the last hole for 5 points, and then misses the third shot, the score of the first round would be 5 to 3 in favor of Player B because the washers that landed in the first hole for one point cancelled each other out.
3. The cancel rule is counted only for turns in the same round. Both players must throw all their washers for a complete round.

Player Turns

1. The player or team to score last (no matter if the throw is cancelled or not) throws first in the next round.
2. A round consists of a player making three washer throws in a row as one turn, and then an opposing player making three washer throws in a row as the second turn. Thus, a round consists of two turns.

Skunk Rule

1. The skunk rule is in effect unless otherwise agreed upon by both teams before a game begins.
2. If a team outscores another team 11+to 0, then the team with zero is SKUNKED (they lose). The team that outscores the other team 11+ to 0, wins the game.

Winning

1. The first player or team to reach exactly twenty-one (21) points wins the game.
2. NOTE -- the round has to be complete and a player or team must reach exactly 21 points to win the game. Breaking the 21-point level creates a penalty situation (see section “Breaking 21 – Penalty”).

Breaking 21 - Penalty

1. Exceeding the winning point total of 21 results in a reduction of your starting score by the total number of points you made to break 21.
2. For example, if Player A has 18 points and throws a washer in the last hole for 5 points, then misses two shots, they or their team will go back to 13 points because the total number of points thrown during that turn exceeded 21 points and the points scored (5) is subtracted from the starting score (18) for that round.
3. During each round, if opponents make a washer in the same hole, it's just as if that washer was never thrown for both players. Scores are tallied at the end of each player's turn, and then adjusted for cancels at the end of the opponents turn. For example, if both players threw a five in the previous example, the score for Player A or his team would remain at 18 points.

These rules can be adjusted with any variation that you wish, but must be agreed on before a game begins

Richard Noggin, aka dickhead

My Redneck name is Richard Noggin! Ha, ha. The politically correct choice for dick head!

This great redneck shirt even comes in the highly fashionable sleeveless tee, favored by many rednecks, especially in the summer.

You know those long hot summer evenings that rednecks spend working on their pick-up trucks and drinking beer?

Redneck vacation

Alien abduction, the ultimate redneck vacation! How come is it that the little green men never pick up the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders or maybe Al Gore! They pick on poor ole drunked up BuBa!

Maybe the aliens know that no one will ever believe BuBa.

Anyway, you can get this great Redneck vacation t-shirt for yourself.

Gas prices

The price of gas, OMFG! It's ridiculous. And the big oil companies are raping us, making record profits.

Here's my take on gas prices.

I had to quit my job because I couldn't afford the gas to get there.

Gas prices shirts

Batman joke

A hooker, a mistress and a wife were having lunch together and were talking about revving up the sex life.

They decided to get a leather outfit and see what happened.

The next time they got together, the hooker she dropped her robe and the customer was turned on and it was great sex.

The mistress said, she dropped her robe and her lover became really revved up and it was the best sex they ever had.

All the while the wife is unusually quiet. Finally the others asked her how it went.

She said "I put on the leather outfit and mask, when husband got home I met him at the door and dropped my robe, he looked at me and said, "Holy crap Batman, what's for supper?"

Woops

I edited my last post a little. I realized I had posted that very early and said some things I probably shouldn't have. I'm blaming it on a lack of coffee.

It was not my intent to offend anyone or hurt any feelers.

I really only wanted to comment on why I price my things the way I do and I let my sleep deprived brain stray away from the subject.

have a nice day everyone.

The price you pa y

Well, there was ab big whoop tee doo on the forums at Cafepress yesterday about pricing. Happens now and again.

Every once in a while I leave the sticks and head for the big city, Cheyenne, WY usually, last weekend I was in Lincoln, NE. I always hit the malls and check out the prices of shirts. I'm always amazed, especially if you stop in the sports themed stores. $19.99-$29.99 for a t-shirt that says "Nike, Nebraska, Texas, Kansas," etc.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some of my designs at CP are strictly text and some have text and graphics. I Barrified my prices for several reasons.

1. Like a lot of other sk's I spend a LOT of TIME working on my CP business. You have to wear many hats to be successful. So I want to see some return for my time.

2. When someone shops and buys at CP they are looking for something unique and are willing to pay for it. Even if it is a crappy text design, if it says something to the customer, they will pay to wear the shirt and say it to the rest of the world.

3. I want to make money! I'd rather sell 5 shirts with $10 mark up than 10 with $3 mark up.

4. You also have to look at pricing and perceived value to the customer. Some people will pay $20 for a plain white t-shirt at the mall, but would never dream of buying the same t-shirt at Wal Mart for $5. God forbid they were perceived as poor or cheap or whatever. Why do you think some folks drive Jags, Beemers, Vettes, Hummers, etc., when they could get where they were going in a Geo Metro? It's all about what they want to project to the world about who they are.

5. With the economy the way it is prices of all goods are going up, and even with Barrified prices my designs/shirts are not out of line with prices in the mall. In fact as the economy falters, my prices will become even more attractive!

6. As far as screwing the universe with high prices, I"m not screwing anyone, I hardly have my customers by the arm with a gun to their heads shouting BUY MY SHIRTS!

Have a nice day.

Teenagers

Ok, it's not a funny situation. The 16 y/o daughter of a dear friend took it upon herself to take off with her boyfriend. She's ok, and will be home soon. I feel every emotion of the parents being a parent myself. And now that they know she's ok, even a good redneck like me can't imagine the fit Mom is going to throw.

But in the spirit of the blog and humor, I thought this poster was appropriate to bring a laugh to all who have worried the last 24 hours.

Redneck, hillbilly, polish horseshoes rules

I see a few folks have been looking for the rules to Redneck, hillbilly, Polish horseshoes, so straight from the horses mouth from the makers of the game, Originalwashers.com I bring you the rules.

Official Rules for Texas Horseshoes
(also known as Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes)
From OriginalWashers.com

Game Setup

1. The two washer boards should be placed on a flat surface 10 feet apart from the front of the board. The included distance rope is exactly 10 feet long for easy distance measuring.
2. The preferred surface to play on is short grass or carpet.
3. During one-on-one competition, the first player will toss at a selected board while the second person follows from the same spot. After tallying scores, players will then pick up the washers thrown and throw to the other board. During two-on-two competitions, teammates will stay at the opposite board.

Player Positioning

1. Washers is a team game, each team will have a player situated at opposing washer game board unless the game is one-on-one, in which please see Section 3 under “Setup.”
2. Each player must throw their respective washers with both feet on the washer board. The foul line is the front of the board.

Scoring

1. The closest hole is worth one (1) point, the middle hole is worth three (3) points, and the furthest hole is worth five (5) points. Washers must drop into the hole completely to score. A thrown washer from either player can knock washers on the board in a hole. It is important to remember whose washers are on the board in case of a knock-in throw. The owner of the knocked-in washer receives the applicable score for the hole into which it was knocked.
2. Each player has a turn to throw three washers in each round. During one-on-one games, players will tally the score from that round and proceed to throw back at the other board. During two-on-two games, after a round is thrown and score is tallied, washers are then picked up and thrown by the other set of opponents.

Canceling Points

1. After a player has thrown three washers for their turn, the other player has the opportunity to cancel out the opponent's score.
2. For example, if Player A throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point, the middle hole for 3 points, and then misses the third shot, the score would be 4 points for Player A. However, the opposition, Player B, has a chance to cancel points from Player A's total during this round. If Player B throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point and the last hole for 5 points, and then misses the third shot, the score of the first round would be 5 to 3 in favor of Player B because the washers that landed in the first hole for one point cancelled each other out.
3. The cancel rule is counted only for turns in the same round. Both players must throw all their washers for a complete round.

Player Turns

1. The player or team to score last (no matter if the throw is cancelled or not) throws first in the next round.
2. A round consists of a player making three washer throws in a row as one turn, and then an opposing player making three washer throws in a row as the second turn. Thus, a round consists of two turns.

Skunk Rule

1. The skunk rule is in effect unless otherwise agreed upon by both teams before a game begins.
2. If a team outscores another team 11+to 0, then the team with zero is SKUNKED (they lose). The team that outscores the other team 11+ to 0, wins the game.

Winning

1. The first player or team to reach exactly twenty-one (21) points wins the game.
2. NOTE -- the round has to be complete and a player or team must reach exactly 21 points to win the game. Breaking the 21-point level creates a penalty situation (see section “Breaking 21 – Penalty”).

Breaking 21 - Penalty

1. Exceeding the winning point total of 21 results in a reduction of your starting score by the total number of points you made to break 21.
2. For example, if Player A has 18 points and throws a washer in the last hole for 5 points, then misses two shots, they or their team will go back to 13 points because the total number of points thrown during that turn exceeded 21 points and the points scored (5) is subtracted from the starting score (18) for that round.
3. During each round, if opponents make a washer in the same hole, it's just as if that washer was never thrown for both players. Scores are tallied at the end of each player's turn, and then adjusted for cancels at the end of the opponents turn. For example, if both players threw a five in the previous example, the score for Player A or his team would remain at 18 points.

These rules can be adjusted with any variation that you wish, but must be agreed on before a game begins

The farm

Although the unexpected passing of dear friend and neighbor Larry Glassburn has been a tragedy for our community their is some good news.

Larry was deeply into and very committed to organic farming and sustainable agriculture. His wife and children have decided to carry on with Larry's dream and run the farm. With the help of friends and neighbors, Trudy, Becca, Ross and Lindsey are going to give it their best shot.

This makes me happy for several reasons. His family isn't going to throw away his dream and his work. They understand all that his dream meant to him. My DH and I were beginning to toy with the idea of some organic farming, but getting more into fresh fruit and vegetable gardening to sell locally. I will still be able to look to them for advice.

And they aren't going to let anyone push them into just giving up. That's probably most important. A lot of folks would fold up and give up. Not these folks! What great people, filled to the brim with the American spirit!

Larry Glassburn

Woof, what a week! Larry's untimely and greatly unexpected accidental death has rocked our little community.

I knew he had a lot of irons in the fire, but I had no idea. I knew he was deeply into organic farming and had a filing cabinet between his ears as big as the Pentagon. He was into so many things, I can't even begin to list them. He gave speeches at seminars, promoting organic/sustainable farming. He was very knowledgeable about soil and how to fix it without chemicals. He belonged to numerous organic farming organizations and was an officer in several.

As a neighbor and friend he was helping us with our pitiful little piece of farm ground, and I was really getting into picking his brain. I want to get into a local niche market with organics. In my mind I'm thinking fruit. Nanking cherries, raspberries, plums, chokecherries, etc. And maybe free range chickens and organic eggs. Goats milk is another thing I'm considering.

Anyway all of that aside. The funeral was huge, which I knew it would be. There were people from all over there. One gentleman who hauls Larry's organic hay back to Pennsylvania to the Amish Dairies had brought his family this trip to meet Larry, only to find out about his passing. Dave, another neighbor and good friend loaned them his pick up so they could leave the loaded truck at the farm and get a motel and they stayed for the funeral.

Trudy, Larry's wife spoke very eloquently, but truthfully about him. But then she's and English and Drama teacher.

The pastor was a bit windy in my opinion, but it happens.

Anyway on the the after the funeral party. The party was Trudy's idea. While all the friends, neighbors, classmates, relatives and people he knew from his organic endeavors were here, she wanted the kids to have an opportunity to visit in an informal setting and here stories about there dad. The kids are Rebecca, Ross and Lindsey, about 26, 24, 22. So being the good bunch of rednecks we are, a few of us got together and cleaned out his quonset, (aka big metal rounded roof shop), got some tables and folding chairs, wood for the stove and of course barrels to save all the beer cans in, gotta recycle you know. Also, Trudy had food running out of her ears and figured this would be a good opportunity to get it used up instead of wasted.

The party was a blast, but the food thing backfired as people kept bringing more food. And beer, and more beer, and more beer. Lots of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Larry's fave. I would guess that through the course of the evening probably 300 people wandered in and out. My hubby and I arrived early to help set up food and didn't get home until after 1:00 a.m. Thank god it's only about 200 yards home.

All I can say is what a testament to what he meant to the community.

I'm sure as more folks he worked with that aren't local find out, Trudy will get cards, etc. for a long time. In the mean time she has a lot on her plate, keeping the farm and organics programs going until they can decide what they're going to do. But friends and neighbors have all offered to pitch in and help. I know one field needs corn planted for sure, and organic certification filings and other forms need to be kept up. The farm is a corporation and she has a good lawyer, that will help her and Larry's sister work things out.

Luckily, Larry's friend Dave has a pretty good idea about what's going on and Ken Disney is another local organic farmer who can be of great help.

AS for some of the funny stuff. Toad said St. Peter is probably wondering what they were thinking. Larry arrives at the pearly gates and is already peering through, saying "this needs some phosphate, this needs some fish emulsion, this needs some potassium, let me in we gotta fix this stuff!"

Dave says he's going out to the cemetery and taking a soil sample and he's going to go back and spread all the proper nutrients on Larry's grave and sit back an giggle when the cemetery staff can't figure out why the grass grows like crazy there.

Barney figures Pabst Blue Ribbon is gonna wonder why they're only selling half as much beer around here now.

In closing this post, if I can be half the friend and neighbor Larry was, I'll be doing good.

Mrs. Silda Spitzer

Silda Spitzer, is wife of dumb ass Eliot Spitzer. I cannot believe that woman is standing by her man. If he was my husband I'd have kicked him in the ass so hard he'd be farting out his ears. It's not bad enough that he was screwing around, he had a high profile political positions and was screwing around with a high class hooker. What a stupid shit. Then he gets busted and expects Selda to forgive him and love him as he goes on some road to redemption. BULLSHIT. The only road Selda Spitzer should give him is one way out of her life.

Plus what kind of example are Selda Spitzer, Hillary Clinton and other high profile women set for other women and their daughters when the stay and support these dumb shits. They are saying it's ok for your husband to screw around on you and humiliate you and make you look like an idiot.

A good redneck wife would've kicked him to the curb asap.

So just for all you women here's a great t-shirt.

Governor Spitzer, aka Client #9

So Governor Spitzer of New York, done got himself in a pickle. What is it that politicians can't keep their drawers up? Governor Spitzer, aka Client #9, was boinking a cute young prostitute through a high class service. You'd think these dumb shits would've figured out by now anytime you have a high profile, in the public eye job, and you go off monkeying around, you're gonna get busted.

But, hey these guys are great fodder for the t-shirt business.

The end of the line for #9

Client 9

Grime Scene

The Grime Scene. Hilarious t-shirts for little boys. Every good redneck mom knows that all her boys big and little are dirty little boogers. Always looking for the best mud puddle, greasy engine, or whatever other filth they can find.

The Grime Scene is the perfect shirt for you dirty boys. It looks like that crime scene tape you see on police and detective shows. With summer coming on we all know the boys will be out in the garage fixing the lawn mower or getting the boat ready for fishing and all them other dirty, greasy, grimey things boys and men do. Now they can have the best shirt in the world to wear on those I"m gonna get dirty days.

You can get this for you boys at Grime Scene

I see Obama people

I gotta tell ya, I'm tired of all this election coverage. You can't escape it. I know it's important, but I'm on information overload here.

You turn on the news and it's Hillary this, Obama that, McCain something else, yada, yada, yada.

And Hillary Rodham Clinton, doesn't seem to know when she should shut up. Of course today the big flap is all about some bonehead using Obama's middle name, which we all know is Hussein. So what. What the hell kind of middle name is Rodham? It sounds like rotten to me.

Anyway, I made some great and cute support Obama stuff.

Irish Whiskey makes me frisky

I stumbled across the cutest St. Patrick's Day drinking shirt, and it doesn't say anything about green beer! Irish Whiskey makes me frisky! If I do say so myself, the Irish make some lovely whiskey!

The shirt has great emerald green text and little shamrocks that look like they're dancing across the front of the shirt.

Greetings Ya'll!

Well, it's early spring and summer is right around the corner. Ya know what summer means? Vacations! Rednecks like vacations too. Anywhere there's fishing, Nascar, hunting, beer, horseshoes,bbq, you'll find rednecks. But the ultimate redneck vacation is to be abducted by aliens.

To make the ultimate trip to the ufo and meet the little green men. To be probed, prodded, poked and have their brain examined! And then dropped back into there fishing boat or pickup or camper and live to tell the tale.

You can get this hilarious on t-shirts and mugs at Redneck Vacation.

Greetings Ya'll!

Well, it's early spring and summer is right around the corner. Ya know what summer means? Vacations! Rednecks like vacations too. Anywhere there's fishing, Nascar, hunting, beer, horseshoes,bbq, you'll find rednecks. But the ultimate redneck vacation is to be abducted by aliens.

To make the ultimate trip to the ufo and meet the little green men. To be probed, prodded, poked and have their brain examined! And then dropped back into there fishing boat or pickup or camper and live to tell the tale.

You can get this hilarious on t-shirts and mugs at Redneck Vacation.

Just got this joke in an email from a friend. It'd be even funnier if it weren't so true.


This was nominated for best joke of the year - worth sharing.
>
>
>
> A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the
> UnitedStates.
>
>
>
> He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
> "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country , giving me
> housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The
> passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."
> The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "
> Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America !" The
> person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."
>
>
>
> The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
> shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That

> person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not
> American!"
>
>
>
> He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says

> , "No, I am from Africa!"
> Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
>
>
>
> The African lady checks her watch and
> says..."Probably at work!!!!!!!
>
>
>
> IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, TOMORROW AT 11:30 AM
> YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE.

Along with the joke here's a t-shirt to go along with it.

So, I finally got my new Bamboo fun tablet today and I'm proud to present to the world my very 1st artistic creation. I call it Lady Bug in the Sun!

Seriously the thing is fun. It will take some practice to use it well but I'm looking forward to good things.

Mornin ya'll!

A really nice lady I know that sells the cutest little dog paintings at cafepress on Christmas ornaments and stuff found some sticky fingered feller was selling her designs on ebay. She filched the designs from the web and was selling them on return address labels!

So then this nice lady gets on the forum board and warns the rest of us we'd better check it out because there were other designs she knew had been lifted from other Shopkeepers.

I didn't have any of my images filched, but then I figure who wants a return address label that says, "A hard on doesn't count as personal growth" or "we don't need the electric chair, we need electric bleachers"

But for any of my fellow Cafepress Shopkeepers who want to keep an eye on here store, just paste http://stores.ebay.com/Benas-Custom-Labels_W0QQcolZ4QQdirZ1QQfsubZ0QQftidZ2QQtZkm into your browser bar. It'll take you straight to here store.

TGIF
janelle

For lack of interest in doing anything else I went surfing for sarcastic stuff to say to telemarketers and found the following story. Enjoy!

Fun with telemarketers

What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I'm sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. The call was from AT&T, and it went something like this:

Me: Hello

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T....

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T....

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes. This is AT&T....

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: YES! This is AT&T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please?

Me: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

Me: OK, hold on.

At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting.

Me: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Salem?

Me: May I ask who is calling please?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T....

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T....

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Salem?

Me: Yes, is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

Me: The phone company?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

Me: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Salem.

Me: Well, whatever it is, I'm really not interested, but thanks for calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent.

AT&T: Mr. Salem, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word "rate". I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

Me: 7 days a week?

AT&T: That's right.

Me: 365 days a year?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!! That's amazing!! AT&T: We think so!

Me: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560? If you send an annual heck, can I get a

cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?

Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh no, sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

Me: Wait a minute here! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?

AT&T: Well, yes, this is AT&T, sir, but....

Me: But nothing! How do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of suliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for....

Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?!? AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later? AT&T: What?

Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes, Mr. Salem. Please hold.

So, now AT&T has me on hold, and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food.......

Supervisor: Mr. Salem?

Me: Yeth?

Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? (Is this AT&T)

Supervisor: Yes, sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter, and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Salem. I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?

Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother.........

AT&T: (click)

Note From Me: When I get a call from a telemarketer I prefer to give them options. I simply tell them Steve is not here right now but would they prefer to speak to Slob Boy, Gutter Boy, BrainDead Man ..... Click............

Or My Other Favorite... Are you single? Click............

A big thanks to the Highland County Florida Sheriff's dept. for visiting my Police Humor

Hope they enjoyed my special brand of police humor. I get a lot of ideas from my son who is a Nebraska State Patrolman.

Have a good day ya'll

A picture of my latest foster dog/puppy that needs a home. He's only 4 mos. old. Can you believe the people who bought him wanted to euthanize him just because the kids were allergic?

He is a cutie. 4 months old, Japanese Chin. Not only is he a cutie, He is a character and very affectionate and attentive. Loves my 6 toed cat and gets along with our 3 dogs.

He'll never get very big, 10 pounds at most. He would be a wonderful pet for a little ole lady or little ole man.

I've had him for about 2 weeks now, got him caught up on his vaccinations and worming. He has no health problems and has a wonderful personality. If I didn't already have 3 dogs and live on a farm, I'd keep him in a heartbeat. But he's just to little to be safe here on the farm. Some day an owl or hawk will spy him and he'd become birdfood and I don't want that. He's too nice a dog and could bring so much happiness to the right family.

SOOOOOOO, I will keep him until I can find him a good and loving home, where they will pamper him, love him, pet him, take him to the vet, walk him, spoil him and love him the way he needs to be loved. In turn, he will bring his family much unconditional love and acceptance.

janelle

If you are interested in shorty/ping, email me at shcirerf@yahoo.com

So, University of Florida student Andrew Meyer who is well known for taping his own practical jokes had one back fire on him when he was tased at a John Kerry event.

What a dumb ass! Security for high profile politicians is tight and they don't fuck around. I don't feel even a little sorry for that dingle butt.

Here's my take on the whole thing.

I love this shirt! Click on the link above for the site where it's located.

So, here goes the story of Kittycat.

The Labor day weekend is also the weekend of the Old Settlers celebration in Lodgepole, NE and it was the first University of Nebraska Cornhuskers football game, which was televised! Needless to say my hubby and I got more than a little tipsy.

About midnight hubbys cell phone rang and by the time I found it, it had quit ringing, there was no message just a phone # for the missed call. It was a Colorado area code, but I didn't think to much about it as our neighbor frequently calls for a ride home when he's to drunk to drive and has relatives in CO and just figured someone was calling to see if we could come and get Jeff. I spaced it off and went back to bed. We were in no shape to go get anyone!

So this was Sat. night. Last night, (Tues) hubby gets a text message on his phone around midnight, we didn't notice it until this morning when his phone was beeping and he thought he forgot to plug it in. Anyway, we look at message and it's from the same CO # but they left the message. "can I come over, kittycat". We just laughed and figured someone has a phone # mixed up. Deleted the message and went on with our day.

Hubby called me about 4 pm today, laughing, "kittycat" had left another text message. Now here I have to stop and explain, my hubby is "technically challenged" when it comes to the text messaging, computers, etc. He can change the motor in yer old Chevy in an afternoon, but text message, Ha. On top of that he's missing a couple of fingers and definitely cannot spell on the phone.

So I called ole "kittycat", got some god awful rap music, voice says enjoy the music while your party is reached, then I left the message that if she was chasing my hubby and wanted to be his girlfriend, she needed to get her arse up here and help me out with the laundry, dishes, trash, lawn mowing, garden weeding etc.

Shortly after that, our oldest son dropped by and I was telling him about it and he said I should have told her to grab her big black dildo and her strap on and get up here, cuz we needed some new entertainment. I about fell out of my chair laughing. Wish I'd would of thought of that! Really, I wouldn't send that, to much risk! But it was funny.

I always told my hubby if he ever got a girlfriend to bring her home, I could use the help. Come to think of it, if cheaters would bring the cheatee home to see what their life was really like they'd probably run fer the hills! rolf!

Anyway, it's been a hoot and I hope that kittycat can get her phone numbers straight. If she's listening to rap she definitely does NOT want my hubby, he's redneck, into John Wayne, old war movies and country music, not to mention the missing fingers.

Now if Kayecee will just get her little hoochiemama butt up here and get them damn sequins off my kitchen floor and fetch me another beer, I'll be a happy camper!

janelle

One more harvest picture. That's my baby. He's 6'1" with the hat so it gives you an idea of the size of the machinery.

More harevest photos below!
Enjoy.

The Combine! This is an older model John Deere! Cutting our wheat! Woo Hoo! For a change we had a good crop and the price was decent. That's my husbands Uncle Gene doing the navigation.













Below, Augering the grain from the combine
to the truck.



This is wheat in the field. It's what you're
bread is made of!
Harvest pictures!














This is the crew doing what they do best while waiting on the truck to come back from the elevator. From left to right, Uncle Gene, Art (my FIL) and the DH. Ya gotta love those green shirts! The City (his day job) pays for them and he does mechanic work, fixes all the stuff at the landfill, so he wears them all the time. Free work clothes are a good thing. And you can't miss him in emergency green! If you look real close by FIL's leg you can see part of Max the dog.