Odd news

INCINNATI - A woman told Cincinnati police that she heard a noise and then felt something cold on her feet. Police said a man crawled under a table at a University of Cincinnati library and used a syringe to spray saltwater onto the woman's shoes.

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Dwight Pannell, 43, of Columbus, was booked on charges of voyeurism, assault and criminal trespass, court records show.

Pannell was silent in court a court appearance on Thursday. His attorney argued that Pannell's alleged actions didn't warrant the charges against him.

The woman told officers that after she heard something coming from under her table and felt the sensation on her feet, she looked down and saw a man on his knee holding a syringe.

The judge set Pannell's bond at $75,000.

My question about all this is why the hell did that woman not haul off and kick that dumb ass in the chops. If I would have looked under the table and seen that, being the good ole redneck I am, I would have kicked that guy square in the teeth. That would probably be a lot more effective in keeping him from doing that again than sending his stupid ass to court.

Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes rules

I see a few folks have been looking for the rules to Redneck, hillbilly, Polish horseshoes, so straight from the horses mouth from the makers of the game, Original washers, I bring you the rules.

There is a link in the sidebar where you can buy your very own Texas, Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horseshoes game.

Official Rules for Texas Horseshoes
(also known as Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes)

Game Setup

1. The two washer boards should be placed on a flat surface 10 feet apart from the front of the board. The included distance rope is exactly 10 feet long for easy distance measuring.
2. The preferred surface to play on is short grass or carpet.
3. During one-on-one competition, the first player will toss at a selected board while the second person follows from the same spot. After tallying scores, players will then pick up the washers thrown and throw to the other board. During two-on-two competitions, teammates will stay at the opposite board.

Player Positioning

1. Washers is a team game, each team will have a player situated at opposing washer game board unless the game is one-on-one, in which please see Section 3 under “Setup.”
2. Each player must throw their respective washers with both feet on the washer board. The foul line is the front of the board.

Scoring

1. The closest hole is worth one (1) point, the middle hole is worth three (3) points, and the furthest hole is worth five (5) points. Washers must drop into the hole completely to score. A thrown washer from either player can knock washers on the board in a hole. It is important to remember whose washers are on the board in case of a knock-in throw. The owner of the knocked-in washer receives the applicable score for the hole into which it was knocked.
2. Each player has a turn to throw three washers in each round. During one-on-one games, players will tally the score from that round and proceed to throw back at the other board. During two-on-two games, after a round is thrown and score is tallied, washers are then picked up and thrown by the other set of opponents.

Canceling Points

1. After a player has thrown three washers for their turn, the other player has the opportunity to cancel out the opponent's score.
2. For example, if Player A throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point, the middle hole for 3 points, and then misses the third shot, the score would be 4 points for Player A. However, the opposition, Player B, has a chance to cancel points from Player A's total during this round. If Player B throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point and the last hole for 5 points, and then misses the third shot, the score of the first round would be 5 to 3 in favor of Player B because the washers that landed in the first hole for one point cancelled each other out.
3. The cancel rule is counted only for turns in the same round. Both players must throw all their washers for a complete round.

Player Turns

1. The player or team to score last (no matter if the throw is cancelled or not) throws first in the next round.
2. A round consists of a player making three washer throws in a row as one turn, and then an opposing player making three washer throws in a row as the second turn. Thus, a round consists of two turns.

Skunk Rule

1. The skunk rule is in effect unless otherwise agreed upon by both teams before a game begins.
2. If a team outscores another team 11+to 0, then the team with zero is SKUNKED (they lose). The team that outscores the other team 11+ to 0, wins the game.

Winning

1. The first player or team to reach exactly twenty-one (21) points wins the game.
2. NOTE -- the round has to be complete and a player or team must reach exactly 21 points to win the game. Breaking the 21-point level creates a penalty situation (see section “Breaking 21 – Penalty”).

Breaking 21 - Penalty

1. Exceeding the winning point total of 21 results in a reduction of your starting score by the total number of points you made to break 21.
2. For example, if Player A has 18 points and throws a washer in the last hole for 5 points, then misses two shots, they or their team will go back to 13 points because the total number of points thrown during that turn exceeded 21 points and the points scored (5) is subtracted from the starting score (18) for that round.
3. During each round, if opponents make a washer in the same hole, it's just as if that washer was never thrown for both players. Scores are tallied at the end of each player's turn, and then adjusted for cancels at the end of the opponents turn. For example, if both players threw a five in the previous example, the score for Player A or his team would remain at 18 points.

These rules can be adjusted with any variation that you wish, but must be agreed on before a game begins

Richard Noggin, aka dickhead

My Redneck name is Richard Noggin! Ha, ha. The politically correct choice for dick head!

This great redneck shirt even comes in the highly fashionable sleeveless tee, favored by many rednecks, especially in the summer.

You know those long hot summer evenings that rednecks spend working on their pick-up trucks and drinking beer?

Redneck vacation

Alien abduction, the ultimate redneck vacation! How come is it that the little green men never pick up the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders or maybe Al Gore! They pick on poor ole drunked up BuBa!

Maybe the aliens know that no one will ever believe BuBa.

Anyway, you can get this great Redneck vacation t-shirt for yourself.

Gas prices

The price of gas, OMFG! It's ridiculous. And the big oil companies are raping us, making record profits.

Here's my take on gas prices.

I had to quit my job because I couldn't afford the gas to get there.

Gas prices shirts

Batman joke

A hooker, a mistress and a wife were having lunch together and were talking about revving up the sex life.

They decided to get a leather outfit and see what happened.

The next time they got together, the hooker she dropped her robe and the customer was turned on and it was great sex.

The mistress said, she dropped her robe and her lover became really revved up and it was the best sex they ever had.

All the while the wife is unusually quiet. Finally the others asked her how it went.

She said "I put on the leather outfit and mask, when husband got home I met him at the door and dropped my robe, he looked at me and said, "Holy crap Batman, what's for supper?"

Woops

I edited my last post a little. I realized I had posted that very early and said some things I probably shouldn't have. I'm blaming it on a lack of coffee.

It was not my intent to offend anyone or hurt any feelers.

I really only wanted to comment on why I price my things the way I do and I let my sleep deprived brain stray away from the subject.

have a nice day everyone.

The price you pa y

Well, there was ab big whoop tee doo on the forums at Cafepress yesterday about pricing. Happens now and again.

Every once in a while I leave the sticks and head for the big city, Cheyenne, WY usually, last weekend I was in Lincoln, NE. I always hit the malls and check out the prices of shirts. I'm always amazed, especially if you stop in the sports themed stores. $19.99-$29.99 for a t-shirt that says "Nike, Nebraska, Texas, Kansas," etc.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some of my designs at CP are strictly text and some have text and graphics. I Barrified my prices for several reasons.

1. Like a lot of other sk's I spend a LOT of TIME working on my CP business. You have to wear many hats to be successful. So I want to see some return for my time.

2. When someone shops and buys at CP they are looking for something unique and are willing to pay for it. Even if it is a crappy text design, if it says something to the customer, they will pay to wear the shirt and say it to the rest of the world.

3. I want to make money! I'd rather sell 5 shirts with $10 mark up than 10 with $3 mark up.

4. You also have to look at pricing and perceived value to the customer. Some people will pay $20 for a plain white t-shirt at the mall, but would never dream of buying the same t-shirt at Wal Mart for $5. God forbid they were perceived as poor or cheap or whatever. Why do you think some folks drive Jags, Beemers, Vettes, Hummers, etc., when they could get where they were going in a Geo Metro? It's all about what they want to project to the world about who they are.

5. With the economy the way it is prices of all goods are going up, and even with Barrified prices my designs/shirts are not out of line with prices in the mall. In fact as the economy falters, my prices will become even more attractive!

6. As far as screwing the universe with high prices, I"m not screwing anyone, I hardly have my customers by the arm with a gun to their heads shouting BUY MY SHIRTS!

Have a nice day.

Teenagers

Ok, it's not a funny situation. The 16 y/o daughter of a dear friend took it upon herself to take off with her boyfriend. She's ok, and will be home soon. I feel every emotion of the parents being a parent myself. And now that they know she's ok, even a good redneck like me can't imagine the fit Mom is going to throw.

But in the spirit of the blog and humor, I thought this poster was appropriate to bring a laugh to all who have worried the last 24 hours.

Redneck, hillbilly, polish horseshoes rules

I see a few folks have been looking for the rules to Redneck, hillbilly, Polish horseshoes, so straight from the horses mouth from the makers of the game, Originalwashers.com I bring you the rules.

Official Rules for Texas Horseshoes
(also known as Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes)
From OriginalWashers.com

Game Setup

1. The two washer boards should be placed on a flat surface 10 feet apart from the front of the board. The included distance rope is exactly 10 feet long for easy distance measuring.
2. The preferred surface to play on is short grass or carpet.
3. During one-on-one competition, the first player will toss at a selected board while the second person follows from the same spot. After tallying scores, players will then pick up the washers thrown and throw to the other board. During two-on-two competitions, teammates will stay at the opposite board.

Player Positioning

1. Washers is a team game, each team will have a player situated at opposing washer game board unless the game is one-on-one, in which please see Section 3 under “Setup.”
2. Each player must throw their respective washers with both feet on the washer board. The foul line is the front of the board.

Scoring

1. The closest hole is worth one (1) point, the middle hole is worth three (3) points, and the furthest hole is worth five (5) points. Washers must drop into the hole completely to score. A thrown washer from either player can knock washers on the board in a hole. It is important to remember whose washers are on the board in case of a knock-in throw. The owner of the knocked-in washer receives the applicable score for the hole into which it was knocked.
2. Each player has a turn to throw three washers in each round. During one-on-one games, players will tally the score from that round and proceed to throw back at the other board. During two-on-two games, after a round is thrown and score is tallied, washers are then picked up and thrown by the other set of opponents.

Canceling Points

1. After a player has thrown three washers for their turn, the other player has the opportunity to cancel out the opponent's score.
2. For example, if Player A throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point, the middle hole for 3 points, and then misses the third shot, the score would be 4 points for Player A. However, the opposition, Player B, has a chance to cancel points from Player A's total during this round. If Player B throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point and the last hole for 5 points, and then misses the third shot, the score of the first round would be 5 to 3 in favor of Player B because the washers that landed in the first hole for one point cancelled each other out.
3. The cancel rule is counted only for turns in the same round. Both players must throw all their washers for a complete round.

Player Turns

1. The player or team to score last (no matter if the throw is cancelled or not) throws first in the next round.
2. A round consists of a player making three washer throws in a row as one turn, and then an opposing player making three washer throws in a row as the second turn. Thus, a round consists of two turns.

Skunk Rule

1. The skunk rule is in effect unless otherwise agreed upon by both teams before a game begins.
2. If a team outscores another team 11+to 0, then the team with zero is SKUNKED (they lose). The team that outscores the other team 11+ to 0, wins the game.

Winning

1. The first player or team to reach exactly twenty-one (21) points wins the game.
2. NOTE -- the round has to be complete and a player or team must reach exactly 21 points to win the game. Breaking the 21-point level creates a penalty situation (see section “Breaking 21 – Penalty”).

Breaking 21 - Penalty

1. Exceeding the winning point total of 21 results in a reduction of your starting score by the total number of points you made to break 21.
2. For example, if Player A has 18 points and throws a washer in the last hole for 5 points, then misses two shots, they or their team will go back to 13 points because the total number of points thrown during that turn exceeded 21 points and the points scored (5) is subtracted from the starting score (18) for that round.
3. During each round, if opponents make a washer in the same hole, it's just as if that washer was never thrown for both players. Scores are tallied at the end of each player's turn, and then adjusted for cancels at the end of the opponents turn. For example, if both players threw a five in the previous example, the score for Player A or his team would remain at 18 points.

These rules can be adjusted with any variation that you wish, but must be agreed on before a game begins

The farm

Although the unexpected passing of dear friend and neighbor Larry Glassburn has been a tragedy for our community their is some good news.

Larry was deeply into and very committed to organic farming and sustainable agriculture. His wife and children have decided to carry on with Larry's dream and run the farm. With the help of friends and neighbors, Trudy, Becca, Ross and Lindsey are going to give it their best shot.

This makes me happy for several reasons. His family isn't going to throw away his dream and his work. They understand all that his dream meant to him. My DH and I were beginning to toy with the idea of some organic farming, but getting more into fresh fruit and vegetable gardening to sell locally. I will still be able to look to them for advice.

And they aren't going to let anyone push them into just giving up. That's probably most important. A lot of folks would fold up and give up. Not these folks! What great people, filled to the brim with the American spirit!

Larry Glassburn

Woof, what a week! Larry's untimely and greatly unexpected accidental death has rocked our little community.

I knew he had a lot of irons in the fire, but I had no idea. I knew he was deeply into organic farming and had a filing cabinet between his ears as big as the Pentagon. He was into so many things, I can't even begin to list them. He gave speeches at seminars, promoting organic/sustainable farming. He was very knowledgeable about soil and how to fix it without chemicals. He belonged to numerous organic farming organizations and was an officer in several.

As a neighbor and friend he was helping us with our pitiful little piece of farm ground, and I was really getting into picking his brain. I want to get into a local niche market with organics. In my mind I'm thinking fruit. Nanking cherries, raspberries, plums, chokecherries, etc. And maybe free range chickens and organic eggs. Goats milk is another thing I'm considering.

Anyway all of that aside. The funeral was huge, which I knew it would be. There were people from all over there. One gentleman who hauls Larry's organic hay back to Pennsylvania to the Amish Dairies had brought his family this trip to meet Larry, only to find out about his passing. Dave, another neighbor and good friend loaned them his pick up so they could leave the loaded truck at the farm and get a motel and they stayed for the funeral.

Trudy, Larry's wife spoke very eloquently, but truthfully about him. But then she's and English and Drama teacher.

The pastor was a bit windy in my opinion, but it happens.

Anyway on the the after the funeral party. The party was Trudy's idea. While all the friends, neighbors, classmates, relatives and people he knew from his organic endeavors were here, she wanted the kids to have an opportunity to visit in an informal setting and here stories about there dad. The kids are Rebecca, Ross and Lindsey, about 26, 24, 22. So being the good bunch of rednecks we are, a few of us got together and cleaned out his quonset, (aka big metal rounded roof shop), got some tables and folding chairs, wood for the stove and of course barrels to save all the beer cans in, gotta recycle you know. Also, Trudy had food running out of her ears and figured this would be a good opportunity to get it used up instead of wasted.

The party was a blast, but the food thing backfired as people kept bringing more food. And beer, and more beer, and more beer. Lots of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Larry's fave. I would guess that through the course of the evening probably 300 people wandered in and out. My hubby and I arrived early to help set up food and didn't get home until after 1:00 a.m. Thank god it's only about 200 yards home.

All I can say is what a testament to what he meant to the community.

I'm sure as more folks he worked with that aren't local find out, Trudy will get cards, etc. for a long time. In the mean time she has a lot on her plate, keeping the farm and organics programs going until they can decide what they're going to do. But friends and neighbors have all offered to pitch in and help. I know one field needs corn planted for sure, and organic certification filings and other forms need to be kept up. The farm is a corporation and she has a good lawyer, that will help her and Larry's sister work things out.

Luckily, Larry's friend Dave has a pretty good idea about what's going on and Ken Disney is another local organic farmer who can be of great help.

AS for some of the funny stuff. Toad said St. Peter is probably wondering what they were thinking. Larry arrives at the pearly gates and is already peering through, saying "this needs some phosphate, this needs some fish emulsion, this needs some potassium, let me in we gotta fix this stuff!"

Dave says he's going out to the cemetery and taking a soil sample and he's going to go back and spread all the proper nutrients on Larry's grave and sit back an giggle when the cemetery staff can't figure out why the grass grows like crazy there.

Barney figures Pabst Blue Ribbon is gonna wonder why they're only selling half as much beer around here now.

In closing this post, if I can be half the friend and neighbor Larry was, I'll be doing good.

Mrs. Silda Spitzer

Silda Spitzer, is wife of dumb ass Eliot Spitzer. I cannot believe that woman is standing by her man. If he was my husband I'd have kicked him in the ass so hard he'd be farting out his ears. It's not bad enough that he was screwing around, he had a high profile political positions and was screwing around with a high class hooker. What a stupid shit. Then he gets busted and expects Selda to forgive him and love him as he goes on some road to redemption. BULLSHIT. The only road Selda Spitzer should give him is one way out of her life.

Plus what kind of example are Selda Spitzer, Hillary Clinton and other high profile women set for other women and their daughters when the stay and support these dumb shits. They are saying it's ok for your husband to screw around on you and humiliate you and make you look like an idiot.

A good redneck wife would've kicked him to the curb asap.

So just for all you women here's a great t-shirt.

Governor Spitzer, aka Client #9

So Governor Spitzer of New York, done got himself in a pickle. What is it that politicians can't keep their drawers up? Governor Spitzer, aka Client #9, was boinking a cute young prostitute through a high class service. You'd think these dumb shits would've figured out by now anytime you have a high profile, in the public eye job, and you go off monkeying around, you're gonna get busted.

But, hey these guys are great fodder for the t-shirt business.

The end of the line for #9

Client 9

Grime Scene

The Grime Scene. Hilarious t-shirts for little boys. Every good redneck mom knows that all her boys big and little are dirty little boogers. Always looking for the best mud puddle, greasy engine, or whatever other filth they can find.

The Grime Scene is the perfect shirt for you dirty boys. It looks like that crime scene tape you see on police and detective shows. With summer coming on we all know the boys will be out in the garage fixing the lawn mower or getting the boat ready for fishing and all them other dirty, greasy, grimey things boys and men do. Now they can have the best shirt in the world to wear on those I"m gonna get dirty days.

You can get this for you boys at Grime Scene

I see Obama people

I gotta tell ya, I'm tired of all this election coverage. You can't escape it. I know it's important, but I'm on information overload here.

You turn on the news and it's Hillary this, Obama that, McCain something else, yada, yada, yada.

And Hillary Rodham Clinton, doesn't seem to know when she should shut up. Of course today the big flap is all about some bonehead using Obama's middle name, which we all know is Hussein. So what. What the hell kind of middle name is Rodham? It sounds like rotten to me.

Anyway, I made some great and cute support Obama stuff.

Irish Whiskey makes me frisky

I stumbled across the cutest St. Patrick's Day drinking shirt, and it doesn't say anything about green beer! Irish Whiskey makes me frisky! If I do say so myself, the Irish make some lovely whiskey!

The shirt has great emerald green text and little shamrocks that look like they're dancing across the front of the shirt.

Greetings Ya'll!

Well, it's early spring and summer is right around the corner. Ya know what summer means? Vacations! Rednecks like vacations too. Anywhere there's fishing, Nascar, hunting, beer, horseshoes,bbq, you'll find rednecks. But the ultimate redneck vacation is to be abducted by aliens.

To make the ultimate trip to the ufo and meet the little green men. To be probed, prodded, poked and have their brain examined! And then dropped back into there fishing boat or pickup or camper and live to tell the tale.

You can get this hilarious on t-shirts and mugs at Redneck Vacation.

Greetings Ya'll!

Well, it's early spring and summer is right around the corner. Ya know what summer means? Vacations! Rednecks like vacations too. Anywhere there's fishing, Nascar, hunting, beer, horseshoes,bbq, you'll find rednecks. But the ultimate redneck vacation is to be abducted by aliens.

To make the ultimate trip to the ufo and meet the little green men. To be probed, prodded, poked and have their brain examined! And then dropped back into there fishing boat or pickup or camper and live to tell the tale.

You can get this hilarious on t-shirts and mugs at Redneck Vacation.

Just got this joke in an email from a friend. It'd be even funnier if it weren't so true.


This was nominated for best joke of the year - worth sharing.
>
>
>
> A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the
> UnitedStates.
>
>
>
> He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
> "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country , giving me
> housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The
> passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."
> The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "
> Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America !" The
> person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."
>
>
>
> The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
> shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That

> person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not
> American!"
>
>
>
> He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says

> , "No, I am from Africa!"
> Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
>
>
>
> The African lady checks her watch and
> says..."Probably at work!!!!!!!
>
>
>
> IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, TOMORROW AT 11:30 AM
> YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE.

Along with the joke here's a t-shirt to go along with it.