Well, I figure it's time to git back to the business of running for president.

Tonight we're gonna tackle them irritatin folks that keep swimmin accros the Rio Grande and trying to sneak into our great country.

I look at it like this, the good ole USA is full of immigrants, most of mine got here by the water method, although they had the good sense to take a boat.

It plain as the nose on yer face that we ain't gonna get'em to stay home so we need a new plan.

Here's what I'd do.

We're gonna get a couple of FEMA trailers from the Katrina folks, and turn'em into offices. We're gonna equip them with cameras, scanners, computers, Q-tips, tweezers and little test tube thingys that got lids.

Then we're gonna stick them new border patrol agents in the new offices and we're gonna open up for the business of lettin anybody in that wants to come.

But they gotta come thru the FEMA, Katrina, Immigration office. We'll get thier name, (they can lie about that ifn they want cuz we're gonna get some nose hairs fer DNA evidence), mugshot, to be used on a permanent ID, fingerprints, tweeze a couple a hairs outta thier nose & get a big ole glob of spit outta thier mouth for DNA. An I spose that since we're given them an ID, we gotta give a number, kinda like a social security number. But we'll have a different system. It'll start with a g if yer a girl and b if yer a boy, then the country ya was born in, then we'll just start out with number 1 and run with it.

Then we'll give'em thier new American ID with a list of rules.

1. Learn to speak English.
2. Get a job.
3. Stay outta trouble,
4. If you get in trouble, we'll ship ya to Iraq or one of them there other countries over there that I can't spell. It'll take a long time to swim back and the desert landscape would look like home.
5. All ya'll and yer kiddies won't be gettin no welfare or SS right off the bat either. Bring money. I ain't handin out no free rides.

This should work pretty slick, we'll have thier name, ID number, mug shot, DNA & fingerprints so if they git in trouble we won't have no trouble figuring out who they is. We won't have to hire more folks to hunt them up so we can ship them home and they'll do all them jobs none of us want cuz most of us already have 2 or 3 jobs anyway, tryin to support ourselves and all them illegal money suckin aliens.

Janelle For President,
Co VP candidates
Blue, aka Mrs. Evil Genius
Kayecee, mistress of the Universe
Melhi Ink, looking for a figure head job