Thursday, November 24, 2011

Be happy

Why can't some people just be happy with what they have?

Why do they want more?

Why do you judge me by your lifestyle? It's not mine! You are retired. I'm still working 50 hours a week. I can't be there to kiss your butt. I wish I could, but I have a mortgage and utilities and a husbnad and grandkids.

Mom, where were you when I needed you? You were not there. You were not worried about me. YOu were worried about how what I did affected you! If I did not perform up to your standards, at 12 years old, it was my fault. You told me over and over, how ashamed of me you were and how bad you were going to look and that you were a bad Mom, and our relatives and your friends were not going to like you, because of me.

It's no wonder, that when I had a relative molest me, I did not want to tell you. YOu would have said it wss my fault. I didn't want to tell Dad, because I knew I could trust him, but I knew it would tear the family apart. So this is a burden I've carried for years.

Mom, I hope that you were never in those shoes. Dad, I miss you.

Granma Jake, I love your 2, but you were never willing to acknowledge a lot of stuff. The next time I come to see you. I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I"m past that, I just want you to acknowledge.

I know that all of you will never step up and give me what I need, so some how I need to figure out how or where to dump all the shit. I need to find a way let it go!

It's just really hard that when the people who should support you, stick there heads i the sand adn there fingers in there ears and go blah, yada, yada, blah, I can't hear you! YOu are wrong. No on touched you. No one molested you. YOu are wrong, that did not happen.
It is a tough and long road to hoe! Someone help me!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Seriously! Who are we kidding? The Nebraska department of Health and Human services, is the biggest joke and waste of tax dollars, I've had the misfortune to deal with.

Late last night, my husbands niece, beat her 14 year old son so bad, he had visible bloody scratches on his face, and a bruise on his head from either a blunt object, or she slammed his head against the wall.

So the cops get called, the State, thankfully takes him out of the home, but by the nd of the day are thinking, it would be ok with counseling to put him back in the home.

I do understand that at 14, and he is a big kid, he can defend himself, but what do you do when he loses it, and kills his mother? Not that she's that great a mother, but still? Come ON!

The state of Nebraska's health and human services as been under review, or audit, or investigation for several years because they can't seem to get their shit together.

To me this is absolutely appalling! Our governor needs to put someone in charge and tell them to clean it up! Make a decision! Make choices and LAY DOWN THE LAW!

As it stands now, it sounds like the Nebraska department of health and human services is going to put this beat up child back in the home on Monday. With counseling of course. *rolls eyes*

The Mom is going to suffer no repercussions or arrest for the beating this kid took. Just go hold hands with a counselor.

Give me a fucking break, this bitch should be in jail.

Now this child wants to hurt his girlfriends dad, because he is up in the air because his daughter has been drug into this mess, but, because this child is now a ward of the state, the threatening text messages he is sending, law enforcement has no jurisdiction!

God deliver me from stupid government organizations!

Tuesday, September 06, 2011


After my last post, I've come to realize a few things.

One, I can't afford to move right now. However, I already have a list of things I need done/fixed. By the time the highschool football season is over, if the roomie is not gone, I will be.

This man said it would be a week, and he had an apartment. Well, he lied. He does not have an apartment, he has my spare bedroom.

He was looking at smut on my computer, when I had a fit with my Dh over it, he defended him not me.

The hub is good at feeling sorry for folks and dragging them home, for ME to take care of. Never mind, that he always defends them, at my expense.

As much as I love where I live, and I hate to give up the dream, I think it's time to move on.

I think it would be great to never have to worry about someone else dragging home folks they want me to take care of.

Just me and my dog and my kids and my grand babies and my internet friends.

I'm tired of giving up my home and kissing the asses of folks who are nothing more than leeches.And paying for them to live and eat in my home! Oh, and cleaning up after them too!

Crap, I sound like a victim. Something I swore I would not do.

Time to grow some balls!

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Point blank

Point blank, I just want to slap the shit out of a few people.

To be totally honest, the first person I should smack is myself.

*shakes head*

But, I really thought that Rob was a nice guy. I've known him for several years.

I was wrong. What an asshole.

My hub gives me crap all the time for not trusting people. Well, those people prove me right over and over and over.

Here is the story, we know this guy, his wife has a terminal illness. Supposedly, she filed for divorce, in hopes that if she did it, she could get care through Medicare/cade or what ever. Rob her hub needed a place to stay for a week, we know him, long time friend, ok.

Now, not so much. I was gone last n ight, came home fired up my computer to find he'd been posting at rude back rub .com and several xxx dating sites. got all this titty shit on my computer. Mom is not a happy camper

in the am, it's Rob or me. Hub puts up too much fight, I can go elsewere!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

This and that

Woo HOo! I have sprouts in my little starter boxes in the mini greenhouse in my spare bedroom! Come on spring and summer, I want to garden.

The hub has had the flu all weekend and being his normal woos self. I want orange juice, so I make juice. Could I have ice? So dump half of juice back in pitcher and get ice and so it goes.

I am concerned for him, given the heart issues he's had over the last year. I don't want him to get to dehydrated, I don't know what kind of affect that will have on the results of his recent surgery and the meds he takes.

Hope he's feeling better soon, because I have plans to leave on Thursday with our son and spend 3 days out of town, goofing off, and learning stuff at a highschool football coaching clinic in Lincoln. Go Huskers! Been there before, it's a lot of fun.

So, back to the whole "Sister wives" show. At first, I was a bit surprised at myself and my acceptance of the lifestyle. I'm a conservative, Republican, Lutheran. But after thinking about it a bit. I realized, the family takes care of each other and is a team, in some ways mirrors the way I grew up.

While there is no polygamy in my family, on one side, my great grandmother always lived with my grandparents. That's just the way it was. On the other side, my great grandmother made the rounds and lived with each of her children for about 6 months and then moved on to another child.

It was fun to have that kind of family togetherness.

In the case of my rotating great grandmother, my family, lived on the other side of the barn, from my grandparents, and when Great gramma Rice was living with them, it was great fun. We had Mom, Dad, siblings, Gramma, Grand dad, Great Gramma, and a couple of aunts as well. Along with Uncle Dale, who popped in and out and was and still is my fave relative.

Everyone knew what their responsibilities were, and we took care of that, but at the same time we had tons of fun.

Great Grandmother Rice, taught me how to churn butter, she knew how to raise and feed a family back in the day, she died in like 1973 at 80 years old. But at the same time, she always wore a dress, and heels, and painted her nails, and never came out of her bedroom, unless she looked good!

Great Gramma Fiscus, on the other side of the family, WOW! What a courageous woman. Her husband, left Illinois, came to western Nebraska and homesteaded. Sent for her and several children, when the deal was done. She arrived on the train, in the middle of the winter and rented a wagon and a team of horses and drove 20 miles by herself while it was snowing to get to the new place.

She passed at 95 years old, in 1980, but she lived long enough for me to get pictures of her holding my twin boys.

She taught me stuff too! Mostly gardening stuff, but also good nutrition, manners, etc.

As I said before, while I don't feel I could live a polygamist lifestyle, I believe the world would be better off, if we would give more credit to the extended and close family lifestyle.

I am lucky to have had a very close family, lots of relatives, close by. They taught me so much about team work, and love and responsibility fun, give and take and, well just lots of stuff. Lessons you won't get anywhere else.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Sister Wives!

Haven't posted in awhile, life has a way of getting the better of best intentions.

So I was so excited for the new season of Sister Wives! Love that show.

I really do not get the whole "investigation" of their lifestyle?

I am a conservative, Lutheran, Republican.

My problem with the "investigation" of this family is, what makes them any different, (from a legal standpoint) than the "live in or out" people where one man has multiple girlfriends and children, just has not claimed to have married them?

Now, I am going out on the NOT PC limb. The Sister Wives family seems to be a great family. I know it is reality tv and I get that part.

But, what about the drug dealer, most likely black or hispanic that has umpteen girlfriends with umpteen kids, he's not listed anywhere as married, or a Dad,he's not paying any child support, he's flying under the radar, yet collecting multiple welfare benefits,form multiple mothers of his children, and still does not have a job, and the rest of us who work and pay our taxes are supporting his lazy drug dealing, prostitution peddling, drug dealing, no tax paying lazy ass!

Leave the Cody Brown family alone! They are a good, clean, all American family, that supports love, sharing, education, spirituality, work ethic, and tolerance.