Friday, May 30, 2008

Odd news

INCINNATI - A woman told Cincinnati police that she heard a noise and then felt something cold on her feet. Police said a man crawled under a table at a University of Cincinnati library and used a syringe to spray saltwater onto the woman's shoes.

Dwight Pannell, 43, of Columbus, was booked on charges of voyeurism, assault and criminal trespass, court records show.

Pannell was silent in court a court appearance on Thursday. His attorney argued that Pannell's alleged actions didn't warrant the charges against him.

The woman told officers that after she heard something coming from under her table and felt the sensation on her feet, she looked down and saw a man on his knee holding a syringe.

The judge set Pannell's bond at $75,000.

My question about all this is why the hell did that woman not haul off and kick that dumb ass in the chops. If I would have looked under the table and seen that, being the good ole redneck I am, I would have kicked that guy square in the teeth. That would probably be a lot more effective in keeping him from doing that again than sending his stupid ass to court.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes rules

I see a few folks have been looking for the rules to Redneck, hillbilly, Polish horseshoes, so straight from the horses mouth from the makers of the game, Original washers, I bring you the rules.

There is a link in the sidebar where you can buy your very own Texas, Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horseshoes game.

Official Rules for Texas Horseshoes
(also known as Polish, Redneck, or Hillbilly Horsehoes)

Game Setup

  1. The two washer boards should be placed on a flat surface 10 feet apart from the front of the board. The included distance rope is exactly 10 feet long for easy distance measuring.
  2. The preferred surface to play on is short grass or carpet.
  3. During one-on-one competition, the first player will toss at a selected board while the second person follows from the same spot. After tallying scores, players will then pick up the washers thrown and throw to the other board. During two-on-two competitions, teammates will stay at the opposite board.

Player Positioning

  1. Washers is a team game, each team will have a player situated at opposing washer game board unless the game is one-on-one, in which please see Section 3 under “Setup.”
  2. Each player must throw their respective washers with both feet on the washer board. The foul line is the front of the board.


  1. The closest hole is worth one (1) point, the middle hole is worth three (3) points, and the furthest hole is worth five (5) points. Washers must drop into the hole completely to score. A thrown washer from either player can knock washers on the board in a hole. It is important to remember whose washers are on the board in case of a knock-in throw. The owner of the knocked-in washer receives the applicable score for the hole into which it was knocked.
  2. Each player has a turn to throw three washers in each round. During one-on-one games, players will tally the score from that round and proceed to throw back at the other board. During two-on-two games, after a round is thrown and score is tallied, washers are then picked up and thrown by the other set of opponents.

Canceling Points

  1. After a player has thrown three washers for their turn, the other player has the opportunity to cancel out the opponent's score.
  2. For example, if Player A throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point, the middle hole for 3 points, and then misses the third shot, the score would be 4 points for Player A. However, the opposition, Player B, has a chance to cancel points from Player A's total during this round. If Player B throws a washer in the first hole for 1 point and the last hole for 5 points, and then misses the third shot, the score of the first round would be 5 to 3 in favor of Player B because the washers that landed in the first hole for one point cancelled each other out.
  3. The cancel rule is counted only for turns in the same round. Both players must throw all their washers for a complete round.

Player Turns

  1. The player or team to score last (no matter if the throw is cancelled or not) throws first in the next round.
  2. A round consists of a player making three washer throws in a row as one turn, and then an opposing player making three washer throws in a row as the second turn. Thus, a round consists of two turns.

Skunk Rule

  1. The skunk rule is in effect unless otherwise agreed upon by both teams before a game begins.
  2. If a team outscores another team 11+to 0, then the team with zero is SKUNKED (they lose). The team that outscores the other team 11+ to 0, wins the game.


  1. The first player or team to reach exactly twenty-one (21) points wins the game.
  2. NOTE -- the round has to be complete and a player or team must reach exactly 21 points to win the game. Breaking the 21-point level creates a penalty situation (see section “Breaking 21 – Penalty”).

Breaking 21 - Penalty

  1. Exceeding the winning point total of 21 results in a reduction of your starting score by the total number of points you made to break 21.
  2. For example, if Player A has 18 points and throws a washer in the last hole for 5 points, then misses two shots, they or their team will go back to 13 points because the total number of points thrown during that turn exceeded 21 points and the points scored (5) is subtracted from the starting score (18) for that round.
  3. During each round, if opponents make a washer in the same hole, it's just as if that washer was never thrown for both players. Scores are tallied at the end of each player's turn, and then adjusted for cancels at the end of the opponents turn. For example, if both players threw a five in the previous example, the score for Player A or his team would remain at 18 points.
These rules can be adjusted with any variation that you wish, but must be agreed on before a game begins

Richard Noggin, aka dickhead

My Redneck name is Richard Noggin! Ha, ha. The politically correct choice for dick head!

This great redneck shirt even comes in the highly fashionable sleeveless tee, favored by many rednecks, especially in the summer.

You know those long hot summer evenings that rednecks spend working on their pick-up trucks and drinking beer?

Redneck vacation

Alien abduction, the ultimate redneck vacation! How come is it that the little green men never pick up the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders or maybe Al Gore! They pick on poor ole drunked up BuBa!

Maybe the aliens know that no one will ever believe BuBa.

Anyway, you can get this great Redneck vacation t-shirt for yourself.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Gas prices

The price of gas, OMFG! It's ridiculous. And the big oil companies are raping us, making record profits.

Here's my take on gas prices.

I had to quit my job because I couldn't afford the gas to get there.

Gas prices shirts

Batman joke

A hooker, a mistress and a wife were having lunch together and were talking about revving up the sex life.

They decided to get a leather outfit and see what happened.

The next time they got together, the hooker she dropped her robe and the customer was turned on and it was great sex.

The mistress said, she dropped her robe and her lover became really revved up and it was the best sex they ever had.

All the while the wife is unusually quiet. Finally the others asked her how it went.

She said "I put on the leather outfit and mask, when husband got home I met him at the door and dropped my robe, he looked at me and said, "Holy crap Batman, what's for supper?"